The Dating Game

I use to love watching "The Dating Game". There would always be some gorgeous hunka, hunka, burning love who would come onto the stage in his tight poly-me-ester pants and his shirt half unbuttoned with his list of questions to ask the three bombshells of his dreams sitting on tall stools to show off their mile long legs. After all the suggestive questions were finished and it was time for the guy to chose, I would stand up in my living room and yell, "Don't pick #3 she's an airhead!", but the guy would always pick the airhead, hmm maybe things would work for them after all. I can only imagine how things would go if they threw me onto one of those stools and I became bachelorette #3. Would I begin things with a bang as I threw-up while the stage was doing a 180 to show off the girls on the stools. Then would come the questions;

Hunk: "Bachelorette #1 what would be your dream date?" answer "Rock climbing in the grand Canyon"

Hunk "And #2 same question?" answer, "A bike ride on Santa Monica Beach."

Hunk "Bachelorette #3 same question?" answer, " A couch, a cool room, salty popcorn, a 1/2 gallon of water, and HBO"

Next round of questions, "Bachelorette #2 describe Bachelorette #3."

"Well, she has her head between her knees, she's a bit green from puking, her hands are purple, and I believe I see compression stockings peeking out of her jeans!"

Well you've got a good picture of my dating appeal. I've been on an online dating service for a while now, and filling out the profile questions honestly has been a challenge. Questions such as; "What do you like to do in your spare time?" Hmm I use to like to hike, bike, visit historical houses, sight seeing, exercise, and gardening. What do I write, I'm best when I'm laying on the couch watching tv. That's going to bring them in by the droves! And I love this question, describe yourself; I'm pale from lack of sunshine, purple hands, wear compression stockings, and I have an intimate relationship with my toilet, so if y0u're the jealous type, do not inquire. Now honestly I'm not always that bad, but the reality is there are many times I am. I'm not exactly what you would call "a great catch" if you're looking at me from the outside. I know I have some great qualities on the inside, but it's getting someone to look beyond my disease that's the hard part. I know it's hard to find a decent guy even if you don't have my medical issues.

I recently shared my dating concerns with a male co-worker, I asked him "Who would want to date a girl who spends most of her weekends in bed?" He chuckled and responded, "I can think of quit a few guys who would want to spend the weekend in bed with a gal!". We both chuckled, but as I was walking away, I had a smile on my face because......there may be hope for me after all! Now really that's not the kind of guy I want (hehehe), but there must be a nice Christian couch potato out there that will laugh at my bazaar jokes and doesn't mind sharing me with the toilet.