Monday, February 14, 2011

Rose Colored Glasses

My former husband use to tell me I needed to take off my rose colored glasses and take a good look at the real world I'm living in. I'm thankful at the time that I liked how I saw the world and that he only saw the world in black and gray. I realized I wasn't the one with the problem and the sad thing is that his negativity was the real issue. Now don't get me wrong I am not stumbling through life pretending things are not the way they are! Believe me when I say that I've felt the pain life has dished out for me. I just choose not to relish in it too long. Rose is such a joyful color, why not paint my world with joy instead of darkness.

Growing up I had a difficult childhood. But when the pain of living in a dark scary world was getting me down, I always looked for the beauty in the world around me to bring joy in my life. It didn't take much; an Autumn leaf, a bird perched on a tree or my favorite iris bush that seemed to bloom all year around just for me on my way to school. I am so glad I picked up this coping skill at such an early age because it has definitely made a difference in how I deal with dysautonomia.

They say laughter is the best medicine, I'm convinced it's true in my case. I wake up in the morning giggling at the decision I need to make first thing as I sit up in bed. Do I drink the 16 oz glass of water my parched body requires to start my day or run to the restroom before I have an accident. The giggling usually doesn't help the situation. After I drink the ginormous glass of water, I make a run to the toilet only to find myself running into walls because of the lack of blood to my head. So I sing to myself "What do you do with a drunken sailor". I begin to giggle and almost lose it at the door. I head for the kitchen to make breakfast that I force myself to eat. The nausea is overwhelming every morning, but I have a song for that too, "It's not easy being green!" with a visual of Kermit the frog singing to me. I have to admit that the extreme fatigue and body aches are a bit more of a challenge to laugh at or see a positive side to, but I do imagine I must look quite odd constantly moving around and shaking my limbs to keep my blood flowing to my extremities. Sometimes I imagine myself looking like Lerch form the Adam's Family with my arms bent at the elbows and my hands in the air. I often think I'm in an "I Love Lucy" episode as I try putting on my compression stockings and fall over every time. My hands and feet are a rainbow of color and pattern and I do still marvel at their uniqueness. And if all else fails I can still look out my window because there's always something amazing to see out there to cheer me up.

I'm not saying I'm always laughing and cheerful, I have those days that are harder than others. I just choose to be a glass half full kind of girl. The world is a much nicer place when everything around you is pink!


Romans 15:13
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.