Saturday, September 17, 2011

Dysautonomia Normal is normal

When I first wrote this blog I began writing because my "normal" life had changed so drastically. I began writing because I was scared, angry, shocked, and frustrated with a disease that took me a couple of weeks just to learn how to pronounce it and doctors who didn't know how to treat it. The changes to my reality of who I was and who I was becoming where overwhelming and polar opposites to each other. I went from an energizer bunny to a couch potato. I was someone who rarely took an aspirin to a person dependant on medication just to stand up. I rarely went to a doctor to someone who needed a calendar app to keep up with the many doctor appointments and tests. I use to take off on a whim and now I have to carefully plan around the weather and my health. It also seemed like I would just start to get a grip on how to deal with my illness when a new symptom would pop up.

There are so many difficult adjustments to make with dysautonomia. Adjusting became my normal. Adjusting to the heat, adjusting to the nausea, adjusting to the fatigue and constant pain, and adjusting to silly things like compression stockings. I had to adjust from feeling pretty good one day to crashing for no reason the next. Adjusting to medications that cause side effects that are sometimes more difficult than the illness itself and I often had to choose being able to stand up over the desire to jump in front of a car for no reason except the meds seemed to think it was a good idea. For a control freak all this adjusting was quite an emotional roller coaster.

I have to say dysautonomia has given me some really great life lessons. I've learned to appreciate my health because even though I may be feeling really bad, there is always someone out there who is feeling worse. I've learned to appreciate being able to work at a job I love because I never know when I will no longer be able to work. I've learned to appreciate everything I can do because even being able to do chores is missed and it's not always easy to ask someone else to do it for you. I've also met some amazing woman with dysautonomia on my journey who have helped me feel that I wasn't alone. And I've learned to laugh and smile because every moment is precious and sometimes it's easier to laugh at the difficult moments than it is to whine and complain about them.

For now dysautonomia seems to be taking a back seat in my life. I've learned how to adjust to the oddities of this illness and appreciate what I have now because it might be taken away.


Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

Psalm 100:4
Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him; bless His name.

My favorite verses.