It's a beautiful day in Southern California. The skies are deep blue with those glorious wispy clouds stretched across the sky. You can see the mountains as if they're just a short walk away and not 50 miles. The sun is shining and there's a gentle breeze. It's a perfect day to go to the garden center and pick out herbs, fruits and veggies for my garden. My shopping cart is full of carefully chosen plants and some soil. All I need is a pink grapefruit tree to complete my shopping trip. All of a sudden the heat is overwhelming. If I don't do something quickly I'm going to be on the floor in the garden center unable to explain what I need. My body goes immediately into fright and flight mode. I abandon my cart and head for my car. Turn on the air conditioning and wait until it's safe to drive home.
How could I forget I'm heat intolerant? Every year I go through the same surprised reaction to my first trip out on a hot day. For some reason it seems to always be connected with my first trip to the garden center every year. Maybe I'm hoping that I have just imagined the severity of my reaction to heat. Maybe I'm thinking I've gotten better. Or maybe I'm still in some sort of denial. What ever the reason I'm still heat intolerant!
I do think it may have something to do with the fact that I've learned to manage my daily symptoms of dysautonomia. My meds are working. I've learned to tolerate the side effects of those meds. I sit, stand or walk when I need to. Avoid hot showers. Eat small meals. I avoid activities that set my body off. I've hit a point where my dysautonomia feels normal. Weather isn't consistent, it is always changing. In California 1/3 of the year is comfortable. For four straight months I can go outside without the worries of how the heat is going to affect me. I forget to check the weather. I forget to have a safety plan (ice vest, friends to help, early morning trips). Well my body has given notice. Hot weather is a possibility this time of year. Be prepared and don't forget how luck I am to be able to go to the garden center in the first place!
Inspired,
Michele
P.S. I haven't written in a while because I've always written about the new experiences I have with POTS. Dysautonomia has become my normal, so it isn't that often that it gives me a surprise.
Psalm 121:5-8
The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade of your right hand.
The sun will not smite you by day, nor the moon by night.
The Lord will protect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in, from this time forth and forever.
Showing posts with label dysautonomia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dysautonomia. Show all posts
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Heat and meetings and perfume, oh my!
This year my POTS symptoms have been manageable. Until this week I almost thought I might be getting better, but what I discovered was that I have become very good at taking care of this POTSy body God has given me. This week I have had 4 mini crashes. A mini crash in my terms is experiencing a severe POTS symptom without going to the emergency room and the mini crash usually only takes a few hours to go away.
My first crash involved the heat. It was in the 90's on Wednesday and I needed some supplies at the other end of the school. On my way back through the heat my body went through it's typical pollyjuice/blood boiling body transformation. Then my heart rate went through the roof and my blood pressure dropped. I knew I had to sit down, but unfortunately I was still outside. As I'm sitting there my symptoms are getting allot worse and I don't think I'll be able to walk anywhere without passing out. For some reason the hallways at school were empty, I might as well have been on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere. I needed help and I knew that if I stayed there I was going to pass out. I would need to get up and walk to the closest room and hope that there would be a person who could help me in that room. I had to make a decision which isn't easy when you're experiencing brain fog.I choose the classroom closest to me with a teacher who knows what I will need to stabilize. Good decision, I make it to the classroom and the teacher is there. She brings me my ice vest and offers me some water and luckily in a short time I'm feeling much better.
The second crash involves sitting all day for a workshop. I'm lucky if I can sit for 25 minutes and the thought of sitting all day sends shivers up my spine. The first thing I notice is that I will be sitting in a folding chair all day, oh boy! Within the first 25 minutes of the workshop my feet ache from my blood pooling down to my feet and I can feel my heart rate is starting to drop. So I bring my feet to the edges of my chair. I'm secretly thankful for my slender body and flexibility. It doesn't take my body long to find this position uncomfortable and I can't seem to find a position that makes my body happy. Being in a room full of teachers I'm very aware that I must look like one of "those" students who can't sit still for a minute. I decide a walk about the room might be helpful but I become distracted by the colorful posters on the wall and I decide I might be better off if I find a corner to stand and listen to the speaker. Pooling begins again and I go back to my seat where I begin fidgeting in my seat to try to find a comfortable position again. I even try hanging my feet over the back of the chair, which only gives me a few minutes of relief and I can feel my heart rate dropping quickly. I know at this point I need to lay down and I head for the nurses office. I'm asked by several people if I'm OK, but at this point I can barely speak and if I could my brain couldn't form a coherent sentence. As I'm laying there I"m able to take my pulse and my heart rate is sitting at 32, not so good. I am blessed with very caring friends and after a few minutes of waiting for my return they take off in search of me. It's very nice to know that I have friends who are looking out for me. By the end of the workshop my brain is the consistency of milk soaked bread and one of the speakers decides to call on me for an answer. I don't hear the question because I'm easily distracted by the 50 other conversations around my table, and when she repeats it I'm not sure what the answer is, I try to reason out an answer from my soggy brain and my friends are whispering the answer to me (this is so much like what happens in school) and I give some off the wall answer, which is wrong. I don't think the workshop leader knows what to do with a wrong answer in room full of teachers who should all know the answer. The day is over and I now feel like I'm a pinata at the end of a party (shredded and beaten).
My third crash happens while waiting in line at a store. After standing for 15 minutes, I'm finally helped and my heart rate is so bad I'm not thinking straight and I don't know what I have been waiting for. I feel so sick that I can't figure out how to use the ATM to pay for my things. The cashier figures out there's something wrong and asks if I need some help and I tell her I think I might faint and she leads me quickly to a chair. After sitting for a while I begin to feel better and head for home.
My last crash happens today at church. I'm already feeling pretty bad from the past couple days but I decide to push through it. The singing is tough but I enjoy the songs and feeling a bit out of breath. All of a sudden someone who must have worked in a perfume factory and fallen into the perfume vat comes in and sits right behind me. My lungs begin to close up, my head hurts, and I'm ready to hurl chunks which would probably even out the smell factor in church. I try to give myself a chance to feel better by sitting in the back room of the church, but the hurl factor just won't let up and I dash for the nearest exit.
Like I said, I thought I was getting better but I have just figured out how to keep myself from crashing. I normally never go out in the heat for any reason, but last week I needed supplies and that outweighed my health needs at the time. I usually avoid sitting for long periods, but I was required for my job to attend this meeting hence another mini crash. I never go to stores on the weekends or busy times, but I had been working all week and couldn't buy the gift until the weekend. I will be getting a gift card the next time. And finally if I'm not feeling well enough to go to church, stay home and worship there, God will understand.
Inspired,
Michele
Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
My first crash involved the heat. It was in the 90's on Wednesday and I needed some supplies at the other end of the school. On my way back through the heat my body went through it's typical pollyjuice/blood boiling body transformation. Then my heart rate went through the roof and my blood pressure dropped. I knew I had to sit down, but unfortunately I was still outside. As I'm sitting there my symptoms are getting allot worse and I don't think I'll be able to walk anywhere without passing out. For some reason the hallways at school were empty, I might as well have been on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere. I needed help and I knew that if I stayed there I was going to pass out. I would need to get up and walk to the closest room and hope that there would be a person who could help me in that room. I had to make a decision which isn't easy when you're experiencing brain fog.I choose the classroom closest to me with a teacher who knows what I will need to stabilize. Good decision, I make it to the classroom and the teacher is there. She brings me my ice vest and offers me some water and luckily in a short time I'm feeling much better.
The second crash involves sitting all day for a workshop. I'm lucky if I can sit for 25 minutes and the thought of sitting all day sends shivers up my spine. The first thing I notice is that I will be sitting in a folding chair all day, oh boy! Within the first 25 minutes of the workshop my feet ache from my blood pooling down to my feet and I can feel my heart rate is starting to drop. So I bring my feet to the edges of my chair. I'm secretly thankful for my slender body and flexibility. It doesn't take my body long to find this position uncomfortable and I can't seem to find a position that makes my body happy. Being in a room full of teachers I'm very aware that I must look like one of "those" students who can't sit still for a minute. I decide a walk about the room might be helpful but I become distracted by the colorful posters on the wall and I decide I might be better off if I find a corner to stand and listen to the speaker. Pooling begins again and I go back to my seat where I begin fidgeting in my seat to try to find a comfortable position again. I even try hanging my feet over the back of the chair, which only gives me a few minutes of relief and I can feel my heart rate dropping quickly. I know at this point I need to lay down and I head for the nurses office. I'm asked by several people if I'm OK, but at this point I can barely speak and if I could my brain couldn't form a coherent sentence. As I'm laying there I"m able to take my pulse and my heart rate is sitting at 32, not so good. I am blessed with very caring friends and after a few minutes of waiting for my return they take off in search of me. It's very nice to know that I have friends who are looking out for me. By the end of the workshop my brain is the consistency of milk soaked bread and one of the speakers decides to call on me for an answer. I don't hear the question because I'm easily distracted by the 50 other conversations around my table, and when she repeats it I'm not sure what the answer is, I try to reason out an answer from my soggy brain and my friends are whispering the answer to me (this is so much like what happens in school) and I give some off the wall answer, which is wrong. I don't think the workshop leader knows what to do with a wrong answer in room full of teachers who should all know the answer. The day is over and I now feel like I'm a pinata at the end of a party (shredded and beaten).
My third crash happens while waiting in line at a store. After standing for 15 minutes, I'm finally helped and my heart rate is so bad I'm not thinking straight and I don't know what I have been waiting for. I feel so sick that I can't figure out how to use the ATM to pay for my things. The cashier figures out there's something wrong and asks if I need some help and I tell her I think I might faint and she leads me quickly to a chair. After sitting for a while I begin to feel better and head for home.
My last crash happens today at church. I'm already feeling pretty bad from the past couple days but I decide to push through it. The singing is tough but I enjoy the songs and feeling a bit out of breath. All of a sudden someone who must have worked in a perfume factory and fallen into the perfume vat comes in and sits right behind me. My lungs begin to close up, my head hurts, and I'm ready to hurl chunks which would probably even out the smell factor in church. I try to give myself a chance to feel better by sitting in the back room of the church, but the hurl factor just won't let up and I dash for the nearest exit.
Like I said, I thought I was getting better but I have just figured out how to keep myself from crashing. I normally never go out in the heat for any reason, but last week I needed supplies and that outweighed my health needs at the time. I usually avoid sitting for long periods, but I was required for my job to attend this meeting hence another mini crash. I never go to stores on the weekends or busy times, but I had been working all week and couldn't buy the gift until the weekend. I will be getting a gift card the next time. And finally if I'm not feeling well enough to go to church, stay home and worship there, God will understand.
Inspired,
Michele
Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Stairway to Heaven
Just a few mile North of Cambria is Hearst Castle. A tour of this hilltop mansion is always a must see for me whenever I'm in the area. The last time I took the tour was 27 years ago, way before my POTSy days. All I remember of my last visit was the amazing art, antique furniture and unbelievable architectural details. For this visit I booked a main tour of the castle and a tour of the upstairs bathroom (upstairs, I know, what was I thinking!).
I was so excited to share the Hearst Castle experience with my daughter Megan. We begin the tour and the first thing I see is a huge staircase leading to the pool and main entrance. I'm thinking to myself "were these stairs always here, I don't remember a single stair". As I'm standing on the bottom of the never ending stairway to begin my trek I begin humming the Pink Floyd song "Stairway to Heaven". Because surely I'm going to die before I make it to the top! I stop at about the 10th step to catch my breath and I'm joined by a few elderly comrades. By the 20th step I'm out of breath and have to sit down, my elderly comrades have just passed me up and I begin to giggle as they pass me up. By the 40th or so step, I'm ready to curl up on my step and take a dirt nap. I finally make it to the top and as I'm climbing I pray for a fainting couch to collapse on when I get to the top. To my surprise, at the top of the stairs there are a few rattan loungers completely empty that I'm sure God has placed there in answer to my prayer. As I lay there catching my breath I catch the gloating stair of one of my elderly comrades, I'm glad I made someone happy that day. Lucky for me the tour guide is rambling about the details of the construction of the castle, which gives me just enough time to catch my breath and hopefully rejoin the tour. I'm happy to see my beautiful daughter flitting around taking pictures and I'm grateful she is use to my POTSy self and can enjoy the tour. The rest of the tour continues into the house and about 50 of us are herded like cattle from one room to another. I'm pleased to find chairs throughout the tour for those who can't stand in one place for long and I'm able to enjoy the tour. The tour ends and we have a 30 minute break before the next tour. I plop down on the rattan lounge chair and my daughter takes off for more picture opportunities (she's quite talented in taking her own picture at key poolside spots).
The next tour begins for the upstairs bedroom and I'm thinking "what was I thinking when I booked a tour that had the word upstairs in it?" I go to the end of the tour group, which has only about 10 people in it, trying not to hold anyone up as I slowly head up the circular staircase. I reach the top of the stairs and I'm exhausted. I'm tempted to plop myself on one of the beds in the room I'm viewing and I remember that I'll set off a million alarms if I step off the designated indoor outdoor strip of carpet we are required to stay on throughout the tour. Since I cannot lay on the bed my eyes begin to search for a chair, and I sadly realize they don't have chairs on this part of the tour. I slowly trudge through the rest of the tour with occasional evil stares from the tour guide who can't begin his spiel until everyone is together in the room with him. When the tour is complete I head for my favorite rattan lounge chair and take a long rest, thankfully the garden area is beautiful and Megan enthusiastically takes more breathtaking pictures. After a well earned rest we catch a tour bus back to the bottom of the hill and enjoy a delicious lunch made with happy cows from the ranch owned by the Hearst family and head back to Cambria.
Sometimes I forget I have POTS, which can be a good thing. When I forget I often do things I wouldn't normally do out of fear of having a POTS episode. The tour was difficult, but it was worth the difficulty seeing my daughters eyes light up in every room we entered.
Inspired,
Michele
Psalm 111:4
He has made His wonders to be remembered; The Lord is gracious and compassionate.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Keeping up with Rover
I needed to make a trip to my local home improvement store today. My bathtub drain is running slow and I think a drain snake will do the trick. I always get a bit excited when I'm faced with purchasing a tool that proves that I can tackle a home repair on my own. Unfortunately I can't help but dread these trips because the store is the size of a football field and always leaves me pooped out. This store has so many items it could take a day just trying to find one. Since I'm on Easter break and only need two items I thought I would designate a day to tackle the task. If this trip does cause a POTSy crash at least I'll have several days to recover.
I head into the home improvement store and I'm greeted by two peppy store clerks who offer to assist me in finding my items! Wow, I've hit the home improvement store jackpot! The lady assisting me is in no hurry to get me to the item I'm looking for, so we casually walk through the store at my snail paced speed. We find the aisle and she points out the shelf I need and she leaves me to make my choice. I pick out something within my budget and realize I also need a tub screen to stop the drain issue from happening again. I roam around the store lost as usual. Luckily another store clerk offers assistance and we're off again. This time my clerk takes off at the speed and agility of a Labrador retriever! I'm practically running to keep up with him. I almost lose him twice as he dashes between customers, carts and forklifts to get to his destination. When I finally catch up I'm out of breath, leaning against a rack, bent over trying not to pass out. He looks at me and smiles and says "you don't work out much do you?" I giggle and when I catch my breath we begin to discuss my tub issues. He decides that I have the wrong tool and he offers to show me something much better that costs less. With a big smile the man (I call him Rover) takes off at full speed to the other end of the store. Again Rover's darting around all objects in his way and I'm beginning to giggle again thinking this may be an interesting challenge. I'm also wishing I chose to take the electric shopping cart. Oh the fun of darting down aisles at full speed with the excuse that I was trying to keep up with Rover the store clerk if I knock something over. As I take off through the store I end up losing my pal Rover, but I remember he had told me what I needed was on aisle 31. I head in that direction and find him waiting enthusiastically with several items in his hand to show me. By this time I'm really dizzy but on the good side I now see two Rovers! I close my eyes for several seconds and when I feel my heart rate has slowed down I open my eyes to see one Rover staring at me with a look of concern on his face. "Are you okay mam?" he asks. I'm still too out of breath to answer so I put up one finger in hopes that he'll give me a second. I finally am able to speak and explain that I have a medical condition that makes it hard for me to keep up with him. He apologizes for moving so quickly and begins to show me the products. After I replace the over priced item with the new cheaper item, he suggests I need a high powered chemical to help dissolve the clog. So we're off to another part of the store and I realize he's forgotten about my medical condition because he's taken off at full speed! No longer up for the challenge I try to follow Rover at my own pace and fortunately he is heading back to me with a bottle of drain clog chemicals and a pair of safety goggles! He excitedly explains that the chemicals like to spit and can be very dangerous! Hmmmm..... just what I need, spitting dangerous chemicals! Rover has no more suggestions for me and he takes off enthusiastically for another customer. As I head for the cashier, I'm thinking I no longer need an electric cart but a roll away bed. Luckily there is no line at the check out counter and I head to my car.
After a long rest I tried out my new gadget. I'm happy to say it works better than I expected and now believe every home should have one! In case you're wondering the gadget is called "Zip it", it's long, thin, barbed plastic about the length of your arm. It's quick, easy and it's very cheap.
Your inspired POTSy plumber,
Michele
Hebrews 12:1
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangled us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.
I head into the home improvement store and I'm greeted by two peppy store clerks who offer to assist me in finding my items! Wow, I've hit the home improvement store jackpot! The lady assisting me is in no hurry to get me to the item I'm looking for, so we casually walk through the store at my snail paced speed. We find the aisle and she points out the shelf I need and she leaves me to make my choice. I pick out something within my budget and realize I also need a tub screen to stop the drain issue from happening again. I roam around the store lost as usual. Luckily another store clerk offers assistance and we're off again. This time my clerk takes off at the speed and agility of a Labrador retriever! I'm practically running to keep up with him. I almost lose him twice as he dashes between customers, carts and forklifts to get to his destination. When I finally catch up I'm out of breath, leaning against a rack, bent over trying not to pass out. He looks at me and smiles and says "you don't work out much do you?" I giggle and when I catch my breath we begin to discuss my tub issues. He decides that I have the wrong tool and he offers to show me something much better that costs less. With a big smile the man (I call him Rover) takes off at full speed to the other end of the store. Again Rover's darting around all objects in his way and I'm beginning to giggle again thinking this may be an interesting challenge. I'm also wishing I chose to take the electric shopping cart. Oh the fun of darting down aisles at full speed with the excuse that I was trying to keep up with Rover the store clerk if I knock something over. As I take off through the store I end up losing my pal Rover, but I remember he had told me what I needed was on aisle 31. I head in that direction and find him waiting enthusiastically with several items in his hand to show me. By this time I'm really dizzy but on the good side I now see two Rovers! I close my eyes for several seconds and when I feel my heart rate has slowed down I open my eyes to see one Rover staring at me with a look of concern on his face. "Are you okay mam?" he asks. I'm still too out of breath to answer so I put up one finger in hopes that he'll give me a second. I finally am able to speak and explain that I have a medical condition that makes it hard for me to keep up with him. He apologizes for moving so quickly and begins to show me the products. After I replace the over priced item with the new cheaper item, he suggests I need a high powered chemical to help dissolve the clog. So we're off to another part of the store and I realize he's forgotten about my medical condition because he's taken off at full speed! No longer up for the challenge I try to follow Rover at my own pace and fortunately he is heading back to me with a bottle of drain clog chemicals and a pair of safety goggles! He excitedly explains that the chemicals like to spit and can be very dangerous! Hmmmm..... just what I need, spitting dangerous chemicals! Rover has no more suggestions for me and he takes off enthusiastically for another customer. As I head for the cashier, I'm thinking I no longer need an electric cart but a roll away bed. Luckily there is no line at the check out counter and I head to my car.
After a long rest I tried out my new gadget. I'm happy to say it works better than I expected and now believe every home should have one! In case you're wondering the gadget is called "Zip it", it's long, thin, barbed plastic about the length of your arm. It's quick, easy and it's very cheap.
Your inspired POTSy plumber,
Michele
Hebrews 12:1
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangled us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.
Monday, April 9, 2012
In Search for Mr. Clean
To clean or not to clean? That is a question I ask myself every time I pull out the cleaning products in hopes of putting some sort of dent in a house that appears to be over-run by dust bunnies, shower grunge and the science experiment in the toilet. I'm not a lazy person and I really don't mind house keeping chores, but my evil POTS nemesis doesn't seem to want to take on house keeping chores. My lungs seem to close up and the rest of my body becomes useless. It often takes a full day to make up for 30 minutes of cleaning the shower. Now many of you may be thinking maybe POTS has its advantages. Giving up house keeping doesn't sound like such a bad thing. But living in a dirty house is just gross! Who wants to bathe in shower grunge, collect dust bunnies on the bottom of your socks or barf in the science experiment growing in the toilet(ew!).
So yesterday as I was laying in bed surrounded by pillows, trying to recover from the POTS revolt over cleaning the grunge covered shower. I began trying to solve the cleaning issue. I visualize the cleaning products that have triggered all the problems and then I see the solution is simple, and has been staring at me from the bottle of my floor cleaner for years, "Mr. Clean"! I need to find me a real life "Mr. Clean"! So now the problem is finding "Mr. Clean". I guess the first place to look is on one of those dating sites with catchy names like Desperatesingles.com (fake name). I can just see the post "Looking for a man to clean the grunge in my shower, the science experiment growing in my toilet, loves to eradicate dust bunnies, is attracted to pasty white skin, purple feet, doctors visits, likes ER's, enjoys laying around watching TV and has a sense of humor! I can see the lines forming as I write.
Hmmmm.... maybe I need to come up with a second option. I could ask my adult children living at home. I just dislike asking them to become my own personal slaves, they do so much already. I could also start trying new cleaning products, hopefully something earth friendly.
I have to say part of the fun of writing my blog is finding pictures to go with my post. This week was truly entertaining. There were Mr. Clean imitations, altered Mr. Clean men, and even a few almost nude men with cleaning products strategically placed. There were a few pictures of gentlemen who looked like they would be a nice addition to my humble abode.
Inspired to giggle,
Michele
Since I'm in a cleaning mood;
Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
So yesterday as I was laying in bed surrounded by pillows, trying to recover from the POTS revolt over cleaning the grunge covered shower. I began trying to solve the cleaning issue. I visualize the cleaning products that have triggered all the problems and then I see the solution is simple, and has been staring at me from the bottle of my floor cleaner for years, "Mr. Clean"! I need to find me a real life "Mr. Clean"! So now the problem is finding "Mr. Clean". I guess the first place to look is on one of those dating sites with catchy names like Desperatesingles.com (fake name). I can just see the post "Looking for a man to clean the grunge in my shower, the science experiment growing in my toilet, loves to eradicate dust bunnies, is attracted to pasty white skin, purple feet, doctors visits, likes ER's, enjoys laying around watching TV and has a sense of humor! I can see the lines forming as I write.
Hmmmm.... maybe I need to come up with a second option. I could ask my adult children living at home. I just dislike asking them to become my own personal slaves, they do so much already. I could also start trying new cleaning products, hopefully something earth friendly.
I have to say part of the fun of writing my blog is finding pictures to go with my post. This week was truly entertaining. There were Mr. Clean imitations, altered Mr. Clean men, and even a few almost nude men with cleaning products strategically placed. There were a few pictures of gentlemen who looked like they would be a nice addition to my humble abode.
Inspired to giggle,
Michele
Since I'm in a cleaning mood;
Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
In a funk
Been in a funk for the last two days and couldn't figure out what's causing it. I finally put my finger on the cause and realised that my funk is caused by the loss of a fellow POTSy friend. The reason I had such a hard time figuring it out was that we were not super close. We made occasional comments on each others facebook status's, we're both believers and both of us had many things in common. She was very close to many others in the POTSy community who had every right to mourn the loss of a very close friend, I have no right to share their deep loss. But still why the sadness, why the funk?
Then it hit me.... we shared a battle with POTS with a similar battle plan.
She was someone who tried to put a positive spin on POTS. She found humor in the struggles of having POTS when it shouldn't be funny at all. She always had something positive to say if someone was down. She found beauty when others couldn't. This amazing woman was sharing a part of herself on facebook one day and was gone the next. Her battle with POTS is over. The reality of how POTS can take someone so quickly was a shock to me. The grim reality that if this could happen to her then it could happen to me.
I know that I could die in a car crash tomorrow and worrying about my future with POTS is futile, but I need to remember that things happen in my life are there to mold me into the person I need to become. It's a reminder that life can be short and each minute is meant to be a gift not to be taken for granted. There will always be a special place in my heart for Kathleen, she's a shining light of the woman I'm inspired to become.
Inspired,
Michele
Matthew 6:25-34
25 For this reason I say to you, do not be anxious for your life, as to what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body, as to what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body than clothing?
26 Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?
27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life's span?
28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Observe how the lillies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin.
29 Yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory did not clothe himself like one of these.
30 But if God so arrays the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more do so for you, O men of little faith?
31 Do not be anxious then, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'With what shall we clothe ourselves?'
32 For all these things the Gentiles eagerly seek: for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
33 But seek ye first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you.
34 Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble.
Then it hit me.... we shared a battle with POTS with a similar battle plan.
She was someone who tried to put a positive spin on POTS. She found humor in the struggles of having POTS when it shouldn't be funny at all. She always had something positive to say if someone was down. She found beauty when others couldn't. This amazing woman was sharing a part of herself on facebook one day and was gone the next. Her battle with POTS is over. The reality of how POTS can take someone so quickly was a shock to me. The grim reality that if this could happen to her then it could happen to me.
I know that I could die in a car crash tomorrow and worrying about my future with POTS is futile, but I need to remember that things happen in my life are there to mold me into the person I need to become. It's a reminder that life can be short and each minute is meant to be a gift not to be taken for granted. There will always be a special place in my heart for Kathleen, she's a shining light of the woman I'm inspired to become.
Inspired,
Michele
Matthew 6:25-34
25 For this reason I say to you, do not be anxious for your life, as to what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body, as to what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body than clothing?
26 Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?
27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life's span?
28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Observe how the lillies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin.
29 Yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory did not clothe himself like one of these.
30 But if God so arrays the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more do so for you, O men of little faith?
31 Do not be anxious then, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'With what shall we clothe ourselves?'
32 For all these things the Gentiles eagerly seek: for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
33 But seek ye first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you.
34 Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Dizzy
Dizzy,
I'm so Dizzy, my head is spinning
Like a whirlpool, it never ends
And it's you POTS, making it spin
you're making me dizzy
These are lyrics to one of my favorite oldies that seems to be the theme song for my daily life with POTS. I'm dizzy all day long. Every time I change positions my world appears to sway like I'm on a ship on rough seas. Those who are "normal" have no idea how often they change positions in a day. They just walk through life with no idea that their body is doing it's job of regulating their body to do such simple tasks. It's not just sitting down, standing up or laying down. It's leaning over a student, tying a shoe, tilting my head to put a knife away, putting a pot or pan away or getting a roll of toilet paper from the cupboard. Just normal stuff that most people never think about. Because this has become my "normal", I tend to ignore the swaying ship feeling and keep on going. Most people would sit down and wait until the swaying stopped. Ignoring the swaying ship feeling can be a bad thing, today while putting a knife away my world began to sway and I missed the drawer and the knife came tumbling down on my foot "ouch". Luckily I only ended up with a small cut. Usually the swaying stops within a few seconds and I can continue on with what I'm doing. Sometimes the swaying ship takes a mini vacation in my head and doesn't go away, then I know I can't ignore it any longer and I have to accept defeat for the day.
When I was first diagnosed with POTS the swaying ship took its toll with sea sickness all day, every day. I battled with nausea for about two years before my body finally became use to being on a ship on rough seas. While I'm on the subject of ships, my family wants to go on an Alaskan cruise! Hmmm, not sure how my body is going to like that one, and I'm not sure if I even want to spend a large sum of money to become intimate with a strange toilet off the shores of Alaska. I'll have to pray about that one.
Welcome to the SS Michele, be prepared for a goofy ride and occasional rough seas ahead.
Inspired,
Michele
Psalms 107 23-32
23 Those who go down to the sea in ships, who do business on great waters;
24 They have seen the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep.
25 For He spoke and raised up a stormy wind, which lifted up the waves of the sea.
26 They rose up to the heavens, they went down to the depths; Their soul melted away in their misery.
27 They reeled and staggered like a drunken man, and were at their wits' end.
28 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He brought them out of their distresses.
29 He caused the storm to be still, so that the waves of the sea were hushed.
30 Then they were glad because they were quiet; So He guided them to their desired haven.
31 Let them give thanks to the Lord for His loving kindness, and for His wonders to the sons of men! Let them extol Him also in the congregation of the people, and praise Him at the seat of the elders
I'm so Dizzy, my head is spinning
Like a whirlpool, it never ends
And it's you POTS, making it spin
you're making me dizzy
These are lyrics to one of my favorite oldies that seems to be the theme song for my daily life with POTS. I'm dizzy all day long. Every time I change positions my world appears to sway like I'm on a ship on rough seas. Those who are "normal" have no idea how often they change positions in a day. They just walk through life with no idea that their body is doing it's job of regulating their body to do such simple tasks. It's not just sitting down, standing up or laying down. It's leaning over a student, tying a shoe, tilting my head to put a knife away, putting a pot or pan away or getting a roll of toilet paper from the cupboard. Just normal stuff that most people never think about. Because this has become my "normal", I tend to ignore the swaying ship feeling and keep on going. Most people would sit down and wait until the swaying stopped. Ignoring the swaying ship feeling can be a bad thing, today while putting a knife away my world began to sway and I missed the drawer and the knife came tumbling down on my foot "ouch". Luckily I only ended up with a small cut. Usually the swaying stops within a few seconds and I can continue on with what I'm doing. Sometimes the swaying ship takes a mini vacation in my head and doesn't go away, then I know I can't ignore it any longer and I have to accept defeat for the day.
When I was first diagnosed with POTS the swaying ship took its toll with sea sickness all day, every day. I battled with nausea for about two years before my body finally became use to being on a ship on rough seas. While I'm on the subject of ships, my family wants to go on an Alaskan cruise! Hmmm, not sure how my body is going to like that one, and I'm not sure if I even want to spend a large sum of money to become intimate with a strange toilet off the shores of Alaska. I'll have to pray about that one.
Welcome to the SS Michele, be prepared for a goofy ride and occasional rough seas ahead.
Inspired,
Michele
Psalms 107 23-32
23 Those who go down to the sea in ships, who do business on great waters;
24 They have seen the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep.
25 For He spoke and raised up a stormy wind, which lifted up the waves of the sea.
26 They rose up to the heavens, they went down to the depths; Their soul melted away in their misery.
27 They reeled and staggered like a drunken man, and were at their wits' end.
28 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He brought them out of their distresses.
29 He caused the storm to be still, so that the waves of the sea were hushed.
30 Then they were glad because they were quiet; So He guided them to their desired haven.
31 Let them give thanks to the Lord for His loving kindness, and for His wonders to the sons of men! Let them extol Him also in the congregation of the people, and praise Him at the seat of the elders
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Unpredictable POTSy Presents
I LOVE surprises! The unexpected card in the mail. A sink full of dishes magically cleaned by the cleaning fairy (my amazing daughter). Or one of my favorites, a picture drawn by one of my students showing us eating chocolate cake together because she knows it's my favorite! Surprises are great from everyone with one exception, my evil arch nemesis POTS which seems to have a dark view of how I like to be surprised.
After three years of having POTS I'm still surprised by the unpredictability of POTS. I've learned what kinds of things trigger Mr. POTS and try to avoid them like the plague. Over the years I've become better at adjusting my activities to avoid a POTSy crash. It's the times when I've done absolutely nothing and become symptomatic that take me by surprise. For example; I'm on my computer and all of a sudden my heart is racing, I'm short of breath and dizzy. If you're thinking "hmmmm..... what web site is she looking at?", no I'm just reading posts on Facebook. This week it happened during a staff meeting at work. The principal had given us some reading on educational practices. All of us were reading quietly when my heart began racing, I became short of breath, dizzy and the words became blurred and unreadable. All I wanted to do was curl up in a back corner of the room. I didn't have my purse with me and needed to get some salt in me ASAP, but there was no way I could walk to my classroom without ending up on the ground somewhere on campus. Luckily I was sitting next to a close friend who went to my classroom for my purse. My inspiration for writing this blog is the fact that right now I should be sitting in church with my church family enjoying a good sermon but my heart rate is 160 and bp is 90/75. I'm in no condition to drive or sit for long periods of time. As I write I've taken several breaks because sitting for too long makes me worse. Seriously POTS your timing sucks!
Another unpredictable part of POTS is the knowledge that it can take a turn for the worse which could leave you hospitalized or even lead to death. One day your sharing "normal" POTSy posts with your friends, the next day you hear that they are in the hospital and you pray for a quick recovery for your friend and a couple days later they have died from complications. This month complications from POTS has taken two very young woman. My prayers are with their families and friends who have lost a precious part of their lives. Death is a reminder to love those closest to you. To be thankful for what we DO have. To appreciate what we CAN do and to live every moment to it's fullest.
Inspired to dance in the storms of life,
Michele
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven-
A time to give birth, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to tear down, and a time to build up.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing.
A time to search, and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away.
A time to tear apart, and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time for war, and a time for peace.
Lord, give me the wisdom to know how to spend the precious time you have given me.
Amen
After three years of having POTS I'm still surprised by the unpredictability of POTS. I've learned what kinds of things trigger Mr. POTS and try to avoid them like the plague. Over the years I've become better at adjusting my activities to avoid a POTSy crash. It's the times when I've done absolutely nothing and become symptomatic that take me by surprise. For example; I'm on my computer and all of a sudden my heart is racing, I'm short of breath and dizzy. If you're thinking "hmmmm..... what web site is she looking at?", no I'm just reading posts on Facebook. This week it happened during a staff meeting at work. The principal had given us some reading on educational practices. All of us were reading quietly when my heart began racing, I became short of breath, dizzy and the words became blurred and unreadable. All I wanted to do was curl up in a back corner of the room. I didn't have my purse with me and needed to get some salt in me ASAP, but there was no way I could walk to my classroom without ending up on the ground somewhere on campus. Luckily I was sitting next to a close friend who went to my classroom for my purse. My inspiration for writing this blog is the fact that right now I should be sitting in church with my church family enjoying a good sermon but my heart rate is 160 and bp is 90/75. I'm in no condition to drive or sit for long periods of time. As I write I've taken several breaks because sitting for too long makes me worse. Seriously POTS your timing sucks!
Another unpredictable part of POTS is the knowledge that it can take a turn for the worse which could leave you hospitalized or even lead to death. One day your sharing "normal" POTSy posts with your friends, the next day you hear that they are in the hospital and you pray for a quick recovery for your friend and a couple days later they have died from complications. This month complications from POTS has taken two very young woman. My prayers are with their families and friends who have lost a precious part of their lives. Death is a reminder to love those closest to you. To be thankful for what we DO have. To appreciate what we CAN do and to live every moment to it's fullest.
Inspired to dance in the storms of life,
Michele
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven-
A time to give birth, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to tear down, and a time to build up.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing.
A time to search, and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away.
A time to tear apart, and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time for war, and a time for peace.
Lord, give me the wisdom to know how to spend the precious time you have given me.
Amen
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Dysautonomia Normal is normal
When I first wrote this blog I began writing because my "normal" life had changed so drastically. I began writing because I was scared, angry, shocked, and frustrated with a disease that took me a couple of weeks just to learn how to pronounce it and doctors who didn't know how to treat it. The changes to my reality of who I was and who I was becoming where overwhelming and polar opposites to each other. I went from an energizer bunny to a couch potato. I was someone who rarely took an aspirin to a person dependant on medication just to stand up. I rarely went to a doctor to someone who needed a calendar app to keep up with the many doctor appointments and tests. I use to take off on a whim and now I have to carefully plan around the weather and my health. It also seemed like I would just start to get a grip on how to deal with my illness when a new symptom would pop up.
There are so many difficult adjustments to make with dysautonomia. Adjusting became my normal. Adjusting to the heat, adjusting to the nausea, adjusting to the fatigue and constant pain, and adjusting to silly things like compression stockings. I had to adjust from feeling pretty good one day to crashing for no reason the next. Adjusting to medications that cause side effects that are sometimes more difficult than the illness itself and I often had to choose being able to stand up over the desire to jump in front of a car for no reason except the meds seemed to think it was a good idea. For a control freak all this adjusting was quite an emotional roller coaster.
I have to say dysautonomia has given me some really great life lessons. I've learned to appreciate my health because even though I may be feeling really bad, there is always someone out there who is feeling worse. I've learned to appreciate being able to work at a job I love because I never know when I will no longer be able to work. I've learned to appreciate everything I can do because even being able to do chores is missed and it's not always easy to ask someone else to do it for you. I've also met some amazing woman with dysautonomia on my journey who have helped me feel that I wasn't alone. And I've learned to laugh and smile because every moment is precious and sometimes it's easier to laugh at the difficult moments than it is to whine and complain about them.
For now dysautonomia seems to be taking a back seat in my life. I've learned how to adjust to the oddities of this illness and appreciate what I have now because it might be taken away.
Inspired,
Michele
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
Psalm 100:4
Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him; bless His name.
My favorite verses.
There are so many difficult adjustments to make with dysautonomia. Adjusting became my normal. Adjusting to the heat, adjusting to the nausea, adjusting to the fatigue and constant pain, and adjusting to silly things like compression stockings. I had to adjust from feeling pretty good one day to crashing for no reason the next. Adjusting to medications that cause side effects that are sometimes more difficult than the illness itself and I often had to choose being able to stand up over the desire to jump in front of a car for no reason except the meds seemed to think it was a good idea. For a control freak all this adjusting was quite an emotional roller coaster.
I have to say dysautonomia has given me some really great life lessons. I've learned to appreciate my health because even though I may be feeling really bad, there is always someone out there who is feeling worse. I've learned to appreciate being able to work at a job I love because I never know when I will no longer be able to work. I've learned to appreciate everything I can do because even being able to do chores is missed and it's not always easy to ask someone else to do it for you. I've also met some amazing woman with dysautonomia on my journey who have helped me feel that I wasn't alone. And I've learned to laugh and smile because every moment is precious and sometimes it's easier to laugh at the difficult moments than it is to whine and complain about them.
For now dysautonomia seems to be taking a back seat in my life. I've learned how to adjust to the oddities of this illness and appreciate what I have now because it might be taken away.
Inspired,
Michele
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
Psalm 100:4
Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him; bless His name.
My favorite verses.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
I'm Melting!
It's that time of the year again. Time to write my blog on heat and dysautonomia. Thankfully Southern California has been behind the times for hot Summer weather. Every day I said a prayer of thanks for the unseasonably cool Summer and dreading the day when the temperature would rise above 80 degrees. That dreaded day has finally come, and it's brought along a friend named humidity just to rub it in.
Heat has become one of my biggest enemies. When the temperatures go up my POTS symptoms soar right along with it. Hello increased heart rate, dropping bp, head aches, fatigue, shortness of breath, the increase chance of fainting, and that all so wonderful polly juice experience of my blood feeling like it's bubbling just below my skin. At times I feel like the witch from The Wizard of Oz, screaming "I'm melting!". Just my face whispering from a puddle that once was my body.
I do have a few weapons to help me fight the heat. I love my Artic Heat ice vest, a bit ugly but very cool. I just pull it out of the freezer when I need to take short trips outdoors or when I can't seem to cool my house down (I don't have central AC so I depend on two room AC's). I drink lots of water, so much that if you poke a few holes in me I convert to a watering can. I take extra salt tablets because I'd have to eat 5 bags of potato chips to get the salt I need. I stay indoors like a hermit and shut my house up like a bat cave. If it gets really bad I take a cool shower imagining I'm taking a swim at a luxury hotel with a cabana boy waiting to hand me my towel, a girl can dream! The heat is also a good excuse to load up on chocolate ice cream and mango smoothies. And most important,I say a prayer that God keeps me safe on these difficult days. Preparing for a hot day is much like preparing for a trip abroad, if you forget one important detail ( a passport or salt tablets) and your day or your trip can go very wrong.
Inspired,
Michele
Isaiah 25:4-5
For Thou has been a defense for the helpless, a defense for the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shade from the heat, for the breath of the ruthless is like a rain storm against a wall. Like heat in drought. Thou dost subdue the uproar of aliens; Like heat by the shadow of a cloud, the song of the ruthless is silenced.
Heat has become one of my biggest enemies. When the temperatures go up my POTS symptoms soar right along with it. Hello increased heart rate, dropping bp, head aches, fatigue, shortness of breath, the increase chance of fainting, and that all so wonderful polly juice experience of my blood feeling like it's bubbling just below my skin. At times I feel like the witch from The Wizard of Oz, screaming "I'm melting!". Just my face whispering from a puddle that once was my body.
I do have a few weapons to help me fight the heat. I love my Artic Heat ice vest, a bit ugly but very cool. I just pull it out of the freezer when I need to take short trips outdoors or when I can't seem to cool my house down (I don't have central AC so I depend on two room AC's). I drink lots of water, so much that if you poke a few holes in me I convert to a watering can. I take extra salt tablets because I'd have to eat 5 bags of potato chips to get the salt I need. I stay indoors like a hermit and shut my house up like a bat cave. If it gets really bad I take a cool shower imagining I'm taking a swim at a luxury hotel with a cabana boy waiting to hand me my towel, a girl can dream! The heat is also a good excuse to load up on chocolate ice cream and mango smoothies. And most important,I say a prayer that God keeps me safe on these difficult days. Preparing for a hot day is much like preparing for a trip abroad, if you forget one important detail ( a passport or salt tablets) and your day or your trip can go very wrong.
Inspired,
Michele
Isaiah 25:4-5
For Thou has been a defense for the helpless, a defense for the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shade from the heat, for the breath of the ruthless is like a rain storm against a wall. Like heat in drought. Thou dost subdue the uproar of aliens; Like heat by the shadow of a cloud, the song of the ruthless is silenced.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
The Elephant in the House
Some time in my teen hood I realized I was not like all those other teens striving to fit in. I wasn't normal nor was there anything about me that seemed to fit societies picture of "normal". I lived in a home where a giant white elephant tromped around my house (alcoholism). Everyone around me tip toed around the house trying their best not to disturb the elephant and acting as if the elephant didn't exist. Thinking I was the only person in the world living with a white elephant I put myself in the "abnormal" category and I saw everyone around me as "normal". It kind of gave me the freedom to allow myself to be different, to dress different and free of having to meet the social expectations of everyone around me. It wasn't until I was much older that I realized that pretty much everyone has some version of an elephant living in their home and that "normal" is shaped by our perception.
I know living with a white elephant has prepared me for my journey with POTS. Growing up never knowing what to expect from one moment to the next has definitely prepared me for the varying symptoms of POTS. Feeling barfy one day then not barfy the next but experiencing heart rates in the 150's all day instead. Growing up feeling like no one could ever understand what it's like to live with a white elephant is similar to having POTS where most doctors don't understand what I have so how can I expect those around me to get it either (though it does help to communicate and educate those around me). Living in a home where things were pretty bad most of the time I learned to find joy in the little things around me. Seeing a beautiful flower on the way to school turned a really tough morning into a very special one. Being able to find joy in the most unusual places has helped me cope with those difficult POTSy days. Maybe being a POTSy mom is my children's white elephant. I can only pray that it does change their character. That it shapes them into caring empathetic adults. I hope they can appreciate every moment and look for the rainbow at the end of a storm.
I have a great teaching job, a nice home, a decent car, a son and a daughter who are working and attending college, two dogs and a cat. From the outside I don't look sick and seem to fit in societies idea of "normal". I don't believe I was born to be normal or ordinary. POTS isn't normal or ordinary either. So Michele and POTS seem to be a perfect match.
Inspired to be extraordinary.
Michele
Ecclesiastes 7:14
In the day of prosperity be happy, but in the day of adversity consider God has made the one as well as the other so that man may not discover anything that will be after him.
I know living with a white elephant has prepared me for my journey with POTS. Growing up never knowing what to expect from one moment to the next has definitely prepared me for the varying symptoms of POTS. Feeling barfy one day then not barfy the next but experiencing heart rates in the 150's all day instead. Growing up feeling like no one could ever understand what it's like to live with a white elephant is similar to having POTS where most doctors don't understand what I have so how can I expect those around me to get it either (though it does help to communicate and educate those around me). Living in a home where things were pretty bad most of the time I learned to find joy in the little things around me. Seeing a beautiful flower on the way to school turned a really tough morning into a very special one. Being able to find joy in the most unusual places has helped me cope with those difficult POTSy days. Maybe being a POTSy mom is my children's white elephant. I can only pray that it does change their character. That it shapes them into caring empathetic adults. I hope they can appreciate every moment and look for the rainbow at the end of a storm.
I have a great teaching job, a nice home, a decent car, a son and a daughter who are working and attending college, two dogs and a cat. From the outside I don't look sick and seem to fit in societies idea of "normal". I don't believe I was born to be normal or ordinary. POTS isn't normal or ordinary either. So Michele and POTS seem to be a perfect match.
Inspired to be extraordinary.
Michele
Ecclesiastes 7:14
In the day of prosperity be happy, but in the day of adversity consider God has made the one as well as the other so that man may not discover anything that will be after him.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Doctors and Lawyers and Insurance companies, oh my!
It's been a busy week for this POTSy gal. It's a good thing I'm on vacation because I don't know how I would have made it through had I been working. The week started out with me fighting with the insurance company for reimbursement for insulin for my daughter. By the time I was finished speaking with the representative my daughter had to come between me an the wall I was ready to bang my head against. Thank you Megan! Then later in the week I had the daunting task of trying to remain calm with my lawyer concerning a loan modification that was applied for over a year ago with no results so far. But I have to say the best and most entertaining part of my week had to be the numerous and unique doctors appointments I went to and plethera of test I was given.
On Monday I visited the pulmonary specialist to have a series of lung capacity tests. This very nice technician hooks me up to a tube connected to a machine and demonstrates the testing process. So I try to mimic here example and when I blow the mouthpiece shoots out of my mouth. We both look surprised and she shows me again how to breath and blow. This time I have my teeth locked down to the mouthpiece and I breath and blow. She encourages me to keep blowing until I think my eyeballs are going to pop out and I'm going to blow a gasket or pee my pants. The test took twenty minutes and I survived without blowing a gasket or wetting my pants woohoo!
On Wednesday I had my MRI. MRI's have never bothered me in the past. The technician offered me earplugs which I've never been offered before, but when I refused them the technician was very insistant that I wear them. She went on to explain that the machine is louder than most. I took her advice and was thankful that I did. The machine was VERY loud even with earplugs! As I lay there I did what I always do, which is to close my eyes, relax and turn the various clinks and bangs into music. I'm so glad I was listening to Generator by The Weathervanes on my way to the MRI. The rythme of the MRI sounds were easy to interpret into that song. But then something unusual happened during the MRI. The machine began to thump and vibrate. I felt like the rotating plate in a microwave which has slipped off the rotating wheels and begins to thump continuously against the wall of the microwave. Then a new song popped into my head The Microwave Song by Softlights
"http://www.youtube.com/embed/85mgifwuYTs"
That song just wouldn't leave and by the time I finished playing that song in my head I was in my happy place and the MRI was over.
Thursday was my appointment with Dr. Frankenstein (my neurologist)for the nerve conduction test, which I like to call shock and needle pricking test. A technician came in to administer the shock part of the test. He chuckled when I told him that "I wondered if he grew up wanting to shock people for a living?" he laughed he answered "yes" Ew! I guess someones has to do it. While he was shocking me in various places on my body I couldn't help giggling over the fact that my hands and feet were twitching bazaarly after every shock. Every time I giggled the technician would shake his head with what I can only surmise as disappointment over the fact that I wasn't wreathing in agony. When we were finished he told me he has never had a patient respond to the test the way I had (I'm not sure if that was an insult or a complement). Next my doctor came in to administer the needle pricking part of the examination. My doctor seemed to enjoy administering this part of the test a little too much. He was putting so much gusto into sticking me with the needles that I was sure his target was to stick that needle right through me in order that I become a human shish kebob. While the doctor was having his fun I asked him "when you were in medical school did the students practice administering this test on each other?", he smiled and said "yes". I can just imagine the Medical school neurology teacher telling her students "tomorrow we will be shocking each other and sticking each other with needles". Did the class erupt in cheers? Hmm, I guess I'll never know. He told me I was the first person who preferred the nerve conduction over the needles. I guess that makes me special! I left the office finding out I have some technical term for neuropathy in my outer left leg and foot and carpal tunnel in my right hand (which was quite a surprise). I left with confirmation of a condition I knew I had with no answers to how to fix the problem (except for the carpal tunnel which I didn't even know I had).
On Friday my neuro called to inform me my brain looked "normal" on the MRI. Personally I don't think there's anything "normal" about my brain, but I don't think a neuro is the best person to confirm that LOL. I feel like I'm living under a microscope with all these test this week, I think I'm ready to go back to work and take a vacation from this sicko vacation.
Inspired, Michele
Psalm 16:1
Preserve me, O God, for I take refuge in Thee.
On Monday I visited the pulmonary specialist to have a series of lung capacity tests. This very nice technician hooks me up to a tube connected to a machine and demonstrates the testing process. So I try to mimic here example and when I blow the mouthpiece shoots out of my mouth. We both look surprised and she shows me again how to breath and blow. This time I have my teeth locked down to the mouthpiece and I breath and blow. She encourages me to keep blowing until I think my eyeballs are going to pop out and I'm going to blow a gasket or pee my pants. The test took twenty minutes and I survived without blowing a gasket or wetting my pants woohoo!
On Wednesday I had my MRI. MRI's have never bothered me in the past. The technician offered me earplugs which I've never been offered before, but when I refused them the technician was very insistant that I wear them. She went on to explain that the machine is louder than most. I took her advice and was thankful that I did. The machine was VERY loud even with earplugs! As I lay there I did what I always do, which is to close my eyes, relax and turn the various clinks and bangs into music. I'm so glad I was listening to Generator by The Weathervanes on my way to the MRI. The rythme of the MRI sounds were easy to interpret into that song. But then something unusual happened during the MRI. The machine began to thump and vibrate. I felt like the rotating plate in a microwave which has slipped off the rotating wheels and begins to thump continuously against the wall of the microwave. Then a new song popped into my head The Microwave Song by Softlights
"http://www.youtube.com/embed/85mgifwuYTs"
That song just wouldn't leave and by the time I finished playing that song in my head I was in my happy place and the MRI was over.
Thursday was my appointment with Dr. Frankenstein (my neurologist)for the nerve conduction test, which I like to call shock and needle pricking test. A technician came in to administer the shock part of the test. He chuckled when I told him that "I wondered if he grew up wanting to shock people for a living?" he laughed he answered "yes" Ew! I guess someones has to do it. While he was shocking me in various places on my body I couldn't help giggling over the fact that my hands and feet were twitching bazaarly after every shock. Every time I giggled the technician would shake his head with what I can only surmise as disappointment over the fact that I wasn't wreathing in agony. When we were finished he told me he has never had a patient respond to the test the way I had (I'm not sure if that was an insult or a complement). Next my doctor came in to administer the needle pricking part of the examination. My doctor seemed to enjoy administering this part of the test a little too much. He was putting so much gusto into sticking me with the needles that I was sure his target was to stick that needle right through me in order that I become a human shish kebob. While the doctor was having his fun I asked him "when you were in medical school did the students practice administering this test on each other?", he smiled and said "yes". I can just imagine the Medical school neurology teacher telling her students "tomorrow we will be shocking each other and sticking each other with needles". Did the class erupt in cheers? Hmm, I guess I'll never know. He told me I was the first person who preferred the nerve conduction over the needles. I guess that makes me special! I left the office finding out I have some technical term for neuropathy in my outer left leg and foot and carpal tunnel in my right hand (which was quite a surprise). I left with confirmation of a condition I knew I had with no answers to how to fix the problem (except for the carpal tunnel which I didn't even know I had).
On Friday my neuro called to inform me my brain looked "normal" on the MRI. Personally I don't think there's anything "normal" about my brain, but I don't think a neuro is the best person to confirm that LOL. I feel like I'm living under a microscope with all these test this week, I think I'm ready to go back to work and take a vacation from this sicko vacation.
Inspired, Michele
Psalm 16:1
Preserve me, O God, for I take refuge in Thee.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Stress and Exercise
If you've read my last blog, you might have noticed I'm a bit stressed out. Stress and dysautonomia are not a good mix. Tense muscles, tension headache and anxiety usually lead to raised heart rate or blood pressure and sure to follow with a POTSy crash. Sensing a battle zone was about to march across my body I decided to form a preemptive strike and thought it might be a good idea to do some exercise and work out the stress build up.
Oh my goodness I had no idea how tense my body was! My body was unyielding and about as flexible as a thick bar of steal. Only superman would be able to bend this body (hummm... visions on superman's arms wrapped around my body gently.......oops, got a bit carried away there). So, where was I? Oh yeah my tense body, my neck was so tense I could barely touch my chin to my chest and my body seemed to fight every movement I made. Each joint snapped crackled and popped as I moved. Within five minutes every muscle was shaking in protest to the usually easy workout sequence. My jaws were so tense that I didn't realize I was holding my breath until the room began swaying as if I was on a boat in the middle of a hurricane. Now with every part of my body in mutiny I almost bend to the clawing of my will power that's threatening to quit. But being the stubborn German that I am I sternly force my body back into rank and finish up the torturous ending to my workout.
The workout did seem to relieve the stress in my muscles. Unfortunately Barnacle POTS decided to crash in on my victory dance, so I'm dragging myself to bed along with barnacle POTS. I'm really praying God sends me a better bed partner!
I should know better than to allow stress to take over. Stress is bad for "normal" people, it's a double whammy for us POTSies. I need to remember that God has taken me through so many trials that put this one to shame. I need to let go, trust God and look for the lesson in this.
Inspired,
Michele
Esther 4:1
When Mordecai learned all that had been done, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the midst of the city and wailed loudly and bitterly.
Esther 9:22
because on those days the Jews rid themselves of their enemies, and it was a month which was turned for them from sorrow into gladness and from mourning into a holiday; that they should make them days of feasting and rejoicing and sending portions of food to one another and gifts to the poor.
Oh my goodness I had no idea how tense my body was! My body was unyielding and about as flexible as a thick bar of steal. Only superman would be able to bend this body (hummm... visions on superman's arms wrapped around my body gently.......oops, got a bit carried away there). So, where was I? Oh yeah my tense body, my neck was so tense I could barely touch my chin to my chest and my body seemed to fight every movement I made. Each joint snapped crackled and popped as I moved. Within five minutes every muscle was shaking in protest to the usually easy workout sequence. My jaws were so tense that I didn't realize I was holding my breath until the room began swaying as if I was on a boat in the middle of a hurricane. Now with every part of my body in mutiny I almost bend to the clawing of my will power that's threatening to quit. But being the stubborn German that I am I sternly force my body back into rank and finish up the torturous ending to my workout.
The workout did seem to relieve the stress in my muscles. Unfortunately Barnacle POTS decided to crash in on my victory dance, so I'm dragging myself to bed along with barnacle POTS. I'm really praying God sends me a better bed partner!
I should know better than to allow stress to take over. Stress is bad for "normal" people, it's a double whammy for us POTSies. I need to remember that God has taken me through so many trials that put this one to shame. I need to let go, trust God and look for the lesson in this.
Inspired,
Michele
Esther 4:1
When Mordecai learned all that had been done, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the midst of the city and wailed loudly and bitterly.
Esther 9:22
because on those days the Jews rid themselves of their enemies, and it was a month which was turned for them from sorrow into gladness and from mourning into a holiday; that they should make them days of feasting and rejoicing and sending portions of food to one another and gifts to the poor.
Frustrated!
This has been one of those weeks, a week full of frustration and stress. Several times this week I was the screaming woman with my hands in my hair yelling ahhhh at the top of my lungs. Dealing with insurance slugs who seem to only have one day a week they can input data (what century are we in?) and they seem to think we don't need insurance because we have ATM's in our living rooms. Then there's the loanbots who seem to be reading from cue cards and offering no answers at all. And finally the phone droids that send us on a labyrinth of button pushing and long periods of being on hold while forcing awful music in my phone receiver. And who needs the stress of deciding between pressing #2 or #3 which could lead to losing hours of time and having to start all over again. This is not my idea of how I want to spend my Summer vacation. To top things off my house and car seem to have decided to fall apart just to add a little salt to the wound.
Well, now all things technical have also joined the lot. Last week I was merrily writing my blog. I was almost finished and wanted to add a web page, I exited my blog thinking I saved it only to find most of it gone when I returned. Ahhh, this was the final straw, my brain was kicking and stamping like a two year old. I couldn't finish my blog and at that point believed I would never go back. It took a week to calm down and I'm not sure if I will go back and finish that blog. My printer doesn't want to print invitations to my new kindergarten class. And my computer appears to have POTS because it acts like it has brain fog every time I get on the web!
Things seem to be looking a bit grim, but I know they could be much worse. It's time to get out my thankful journal and reflect on the good things in my life. And if that doesn't work can can always close my eyes and go on a virtual vacation.
I did want to include the web site that lead to my blog meltdown. I've always felt I needed another anatomy/physiology/neurology course to help me better understand what's going on in this POTSy body of mine and this site explains things in layman's terms with even a few Star trek examples (which won me over immediately).
http://heavenleigh412-ivil.tripod.com/id18.html
Inspired,
Michele
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you: My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.
One of my favorite life verses. Sometimes stuff happens and I need to let go and let God.
Well, now all things technical have also joined the lot. Last week I was merrily writing my blog. I was almost finished and wanted to add a web page, I exited my blog thinking I saved it only to find most of it gone when I returned. Ahhh, this was the final straw, my brain was kicking and stamping like a two year old. I couldn't finish my blog and at that point believed I would never go back. It took a week to calm down and I'm not sure if I will go back and finish that blog. My printer doesn't want to print invitations to my new kindergarten class. And my computer appears to have POTS because it acts like it has brain fog every time I get on the web!
Things seem to be looking a bit grim, but I know they could be much worse. It's time to get out my thankful journal and reflect on the good things in my life. And if that doesn't work can can always close my eyes and go on a virtual vacation.
I did want to include the web site that lead to my blog meltdown. I've always felt I needed another anatomy/physiology/neurology course to help me better understand what's going on in this POTSy body of mine and this site explains things in layman's terms with even a few Star trek examples (which won me over immediately).
http://heavenleigh412-ivil.tripod.com/id18.html
Inspired,
Michele
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you: My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.
One of my favorite life verses. Sometimes stuff happens and I need to let go and let God.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Counting Sheep
I'm walking on the beach, a cool breeze blowing, the smell of the ocean, birds flying overhead, the waves gently crashing and flowing softly over my feet. When suddenly I find myself gasping for breath and my heart beating through my chest. No I haven't been hit by a tsunami, instead I find myself in my bed trying to recover from an adrenaline rush. I close my eyes and try to slow my heart and breathing down. It's 3 am and I need to get back to sleep so I try to focus my thoughts on that beach I was just walking on but my body says "No way, I've just run a marathon and I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SLEEP!" I try counting sheep, rolling over trying to finding that perfect sleeping position and I still can't sleep! I get up, make some chamomile tea and try to read myself to sleep but nothing works. Unfortunately the less sleep I get the more symptomatic I become.
After days of waiting for Mr. Sandman to stop by my house and trying every natural method of sleep remedy I can find on the Internet, I decide I need to let my doctor know I need some help. Asking for sleeping medication is not how I want to handle this. I have always been against taking medication. I was the girl who didn't take aspirin when I had a head ache. Medications of any type or form freak me out. I'm sure my "say not to drugs" attitude stems from a book a read in my teens call "Go Ask Alice", in which a girl with everything going for her gets hooked on drugs. Many of the scenes in the book were frightening and left me suspicious of all drug forms. Too bad all teens are not so impressionable, one book would wipe out generations of drug addiction. I describe the sleeping issues along with the fact that sleep loss is making my POTS symptoms worse and my doctor agrees that I definitely need sleeping medication. She prescribes Ambien and I finally get my first full night of restful sleep since my POTS diagnosis. There are some good medications out there with a purpose, it's when we abuse the medications that it becomes a problem.
It's kind of funny, last month I had a visit with my new GP. I needed to refill several of my medications including the Ambien. She was concerned that I have been on the Ambien for two years and that it is addicting. I told her I would love to get off of my sleeping medication, and that I really don't like being on any meds at all. I informed her that if she knew of a way to get rid of the adrenaline rushes that wake me and keep me awake that I would be more than happy to stop taking the Ambien. She turned around and began writing up my prescription. Praying for a cure so I can go back to my "say no to drugs" life style.
Inspired,
Michele
Matthew 11:28
"Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."
After days of waiting for Mr. Sandman to stop by my house and trying every natural method of sleep remedy I can find on the Internet, I decide I need to let my doctor know I need some help. Asking for sleeping medication is not how I want to handle this. I have always been against taking medication. I was the girl who didn't take aspirin when I had a head ache. Medications of any type or form freak me out. I'm sure my "say not to drugs" attitude stems from a book a read in my teens call "Go Ask Alice", in which a girl with everything going for her gets hooked on drugs. Many of the scenes in the book were frightening and left me suspicious of all drug forms. Too bad all teens are not so impressionable, one book would wipe out generations of drug addiction. I describe the sleeping issues along with the fact that sleep loss is making my POTS symptoms worse and my doctor agrees that I definitely need sleeping medication. She prescribes Ambien and I finally get my first full night of restful sleep since my POTS diagnosis. There are some good medications out there with a purpose, it's when we abuse the medications that it becomes a problem.
It's kind of funny, last month I had a visit with my new GP. I needed to refill several of my medications including the Ambien. She was concerned that I have been on the Ambien for two years and that it is addicting. I told her I would love to get off of my sleeping medication, and that I really don't like being on any meds at all. I informed her that if she knew of a way to get rid of the adrenaline rushes that wake me and keep me awake that I would be more than happy to stop taking the Ambien. She turned around and began writing up my prescription. Praying for a cure so I can go back to my "say no to drugs" life style.
Inspired,
Michele
Matthew 11:28
"Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Ms. Frankenstein
Not sure why my doctor visits always inspire me to write. Maybe it's because I seem to always leave in shock or disappointment. It may also be that the human Guinna pig is still surprised by more test and more questions.
Today's visit to the neuro was a little more challenging than most. It was pretty hot and humid so extra precautions needed to be made to insure that I wouldn't end up in the ER due to a simple walk from my car to doctors office. With ice vest packed in the ice chest, a huge bottle of water, salty snacks and my e-reader I'm ready to go. Feels more like I'm getting ready for a picnic than a trip to the doctors office. I have a feeling my doctor thought so too. He gave me the raised eyebrow and a puzzled stare as he questioned the purpose of an ice chest for a doctors visit. I'm so wishing I'd packed a baguette, cheese, checkered table cloth and a bottle of wine! Instead I explained about the ice vest and the appointment was on its way.
As usual I had my list of questions concerning some of my POTS symptoms such as neuropathy, blood flow to my extremities and the adrenaline rushes. As usual I received the pat response from my doctor, "Studies are inconclusive as to why POTS patients have these symptoms, there are no answers". Well that visit was productive. The doctor does the typical vibrating tuning fork exam in which I'm not feeling many of the spots the tuning fork touches. He ends the exam by telling me he's going to run some "tests", oh no!!!!!! He orders an MRI and a nerve conduction study. He tells me to do a follow up with my GP to schedule a visit to see a vascular specialist. Wow, lucky me! And I'm out the door.
I head for home and jump on the computer to see what I have to look forward to with my nerve conduction study. www.WebMD.com informs me that the test is not evasive, but can be a little painful due to electrical SHOCKS! Seriously, I can just visualize Frankenstein standing over me while I'm hooked up to wires with his hand ready to pull the lever for my electrical shock study!. Who chooses shocking people as a career choice? I have to wonder what child tells his parents "when I grow up I want to shock people". I know if either I've my children made that announcement they would go straight into therapy.
I see adventure in the horizon. Who needs a vacation when I get to lay in a thumping tube and create imaginary music to the thrumming of the MRI machine. And just think I get to meet the person whose lifelong career choice is shocking people. Can't forget the camera!
Inspired,
Michele
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Today's visit to the neuro was a little more challenging than most. It was pretty hot and humid so extra precautions needed to be made to insure that I wouldn't end up in the ER due to a simple walk from my car to doctors office. With ice vest packed in the ice chest, a huge bottle of water, salty snacks and my e-reader I'm ready to go. Feels more like I'm getting ready for a picnic than a trip to the doctors office. I have a feeling my doctor thought so too. He gave me the raised eyebrow and a puzzled stare as he questioned the purpose of an ice chest for a doctors visit. I'm so wishing I'd packed a baguette, cheese, checkered table cloth and a bottle of wine! Instead I explained about the ice vest and the appointment was on its way.
As usual I had my list of questions concerning some of my POTS symptoms such as neuropathy, blood flow to my extremities and the adrenaline rushes. As usual I received the pat response from my doctor, "Studies are inconclusive as to why POTS patients have these symptoms, there are no answers". Well that visit was productive. The doctor does the typical vibrating tuning fork exam in which I'm not feeling many of the spots the tuning fork touches. He ends the exam by telling me he's going to run some "tests", oh no!!!!!! He orders an MRI and a nerve conduction study. He tells me to do a follow up with my GP to schedule a visit to see a vascular specialist. Wow, lucky me! And I'm out the door.
I head for home and jump on the computer to see what I have to look forward to with my nerve conduction study. www.WebMD.com informs me that the test is not evasive, but can be a little painful due to electrical SHOCKS! Seriously, I can just visualize Frankenstein standing over me while I'm hooked up to wires with his hand ready to pull the lever for my electrical shock study!. Who chooses shocking people as a career choice? I have to wonder what child tells his parents "when I grow up I want to shock people". I know if either I've my children made that announcement they would go straight into therapy.
I see adventure in the horizon. Who needs a vacation when I get to lay in a thumping tube and create imaginary music to the thrumming of the MRI machine. And just think I get to meet the person whose lifelong career choice is shocking people. Can't forget the camera!
Inspired,
Michele
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Virtual Vacation
Sitting on facebook watching friends and colleagues posting themselves in various vacation destinations all over the world brought on a longing for a vacation of my own. Ticking off the reasons I couldn't make any long distance vacation plans was rather simple. I've taken a pretty steep pay cut this year (education cuts is always the first place politicians slash), and planning any vacation around my extreme temperature sensitivity and POTS symptoms is next to impossible. Being in a tight financial crunch and dealing with my POTS symptoms has become pretty blaze. I've pretty much given up on doing much of anything out of my comfort zone.
So I decided I would go on a virtual vacation instead. I could then share my virtual experiences with my blogging friends who might be in the same boat as I'm in. Who better to take a virtual vacation than myself! By the time I'm finished my creative brain will have such great stories made up that by the end of my virtual trip I'll really believe I've been to all the places I've written about! Why not, I could plan my dream vacation without spending a cent and no worries about POTS getting in the way. The more I thought about it the more excited I became. I could even learn how to use my photo shop and cut and paste myself in pictures of my favorite destinations. So I began doing a little homework: Has this ever been done before? Where would I go? If I could do or see anything what would it be? As I began researching I became more excited that I may be able to pull off a virtual vacation.
I started a list of my dream destinations;
*Cruise down the Nile with a tour of the pyramids and a camel ride.
*Go to France and tour castles, the Eiffel Tower and fashion houses.
*Visit Italy and check out the museums, tour Pompeii and Take a Gondola ride in Naples.
I began checking prices and tour itinerary and found out my trip down the Nile was out of the running due to civil unrest in Egypt, bummer that was my ultimate dream vacation. Though I haven't given up on the camel ride yet! So off I'm off to check France vacation sites. Many of the pictures of the castles in France were fuzzy and limited. If I'm taking a virtual vacation anywhere I need detailed pictures of my virtual destinations. I mean really, how am I suppose to visualize my handsome tour guide Jon-luc showing me the sites of France when I can barely make out the picture! Good-by France, maybe the next trip. Well the last on my list is Italy. I've always wanted to visit the ruins of Pompeii since my sixth grade teacher showed us slides of the ruins created by Mt. Vesuvius. With every click of the mouse I was getting more and more excited about taking a trip to Italy. I found a tour that included my most desired destinations. The itinerary as follows: Day 1 travel to hotel and tour group get together. Day 2 tours the Piazza Venezia, Colosseum and Arch of Constantine. Day 3 is a tour of the seaside town of Sorrento including a tour of a buffalo milk mozzarella factory (I mean what's a trip to Italy without a buffalo cheese tour) and followed by a Greek temples tour. Day 4 is a boat trip to the Mediterranean Island of Capri (I can visualize me feeding the fish on that boat trip). Then day 5 is the most important tour of all, Pompeii. Day 6 takes you to Naples with a gondola ride.This trip sounds perfect and check this out, each dinner includes wine from a local winery!
Now that I have my virtual destination planned it's time to check out great photo sites, flights, hotels and I already know the tour I want is only $2100 per person and $2,600 with my 5 star hotel upgrade. I am not staying in and ugly hotel with no Italian ambiance on this virtual vacation. I found a site that allows you to print virtual airplane tickets and my virtual vacation is planned.
My children get home from their various activities and I share my brilliant vacation idea with them, I'm expecting a huge amount of enthusiasm on my creative thinking skills, but my daughter replies with "Wow, your special mommy" and my son raises his eyebrow and gives me the "I think my mom is losing it" look. The only one to share any sign of enthusiasm was my son's girlfriend and I can't help but think she may just be being polite to her possible future mother-in-law. Love you Bee!
Now I'm beginning to question the sanity of my virtual vacation. As I begin to ponder the realities of my "special" vacation I realize most of the fun is in the planning. How much fun could I possibly have photo chopping myself into pictures of places I've never been to. Where's the fun in writing about places and people I haven't seen, though I do have a pretty big imagination and a romance novel could be in the making. This doesn't sound like fun at all. Now what?
I really was excited about my trip. As I morn over a great idea gone wrong, a new idea springs into life. Why can't I have a California version of my dream vacation? There's no reason why I can't! Where do I start? How about the gondola ride? Naples is just around the corner and they have daily gondola rides and you can bring your own drinks and snacks! Architecture, what's in California that I haven't seen yet? I have always wanted to see Frank Loyd Wright's Hollyhock house in Hollywood, wow I'm getting excited! I also put the Tim Burton exhibition at the L.A. museum of art on my "to do" list. I think I'll add a trip to Rodeo drive to shop at some designer boutiques. And what is a California Italian vacation without a little Italian cuisine, The spaghetti factory or the Stinking Rose have great atmospheres and really good food. I think my itinerary is pretty full and I can take it at my own pace. Hmmm.... I think I'll add a a touch of Hawaii and make a visit to Duke's for a slice of hula pie and a walk on the beach to top things off. Sounds like an amazing vacation to me!
Who says you have to spend lots of money and travel to distant lands to have a great vacation.
Inspired,
Michele
Proverbs 25:25
Like cold water to a weary soul, so is good news from a distant land.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Abs of Steel!
Last week I decided the "muffin top" over my jeans is no longer acceptable and something must be done to alleviate the problem. I need to find a way to diet without obsession and exercise without passing out. I saw one of those infomercials with the workout diva's with a size 2 body and perfectly flat bellies advertising that anyone can have perfectly sculpted abs if they just purchased their workout DVD. So I thought to myself "I need to do something so why not give this a try, besides if I can do it I'll have ABS OF STEEL by the end of the summer!"
Since I've been diagnosed with POTS I had to quit working out. I use to be a workout diva myself before POTS. After my diagnosis I tried to work out but would become dizzy, short of breath and the raising of my heart rate just plain freaked me out, not to mention the fact that my heat intolerance usually would send my body over the top. Well it's been three years since my last workout and my body has become soft. A marshmallow is in better shape than I am. I need to get past my fear of exercising and give it another try.
I decided to take my workout experience a little differently. I need to face the fact that my body IS different and I need to give myself some grace to accept that I will not be able to do some things on the DVD. I need to be OK with stopping or changing up the workout to fit MY needs. I need to listen to my body and I don't have to do things exactly as the program instructs (this was designed for the healthy not someone with a chronic illness).
Last night I decided to give my new Crunchless Abs DVD a try. I took a salt tablet, filled up a big bottle of water, turned on the A/C and attached my workout theraband to my door. I pressed play and began the warm up followed by several different exercises and stretches. At times there would be something that required bending over (which I can't do) so I would repeat other reps previously done instead. At one point I became dizzy and had to sit on the floor with my head between my knees. As I'm trying to catch my breath, I could hear workout diva saying "keep going, I'm right there with you, I know what your feeling!" I giggled in my head "no, I don't think she's feeling what I'm feeling right now, nor would she ever be humbled into the head between the knees position". I finished the program on my terms and felt good. It felt really good to have a fine film of perspiration on my body, and I felt really good the next day.
I'm praying I can keep this up. The doctor has always encouraged exercising, but my one bad experience kept me in fear of trying again. I'm so glad I gave it another try. I'm even thinking of taking a before and after picture just like they do in the advertisements.
Inspired,
Michele
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Since I've been diagnosed with POTS I had to quit working out. I use to be a workout diva myself before POTS. After my diagnosis I tried to work out but would become dizzy, short of breath and the raising of my heart rate just plain freaked me out, not to mention the fact that my heat intolerance usually would send my body over the top. Well it's been three years since my last workout and my body has become soft. A marshmallow is in better shape than I am. I need to get past my fear of exercising and give it another try.
I decided to take my workout experience a little differently. I need to face the fact that my body IS different and I need to give myself some grace to accept that I will not be able to do some things on the DVD. I need to be OK with stopping or changing up the workout to fit MY needs. I need to listen to my body and I don't have to do things exactly as the program instructs (this was designed for the healthy not someone with a chronic illness).
Last night I decided to give my new Crunchless Abs DVD a try. I took a salt tablet, filled up a big bottle of water, turned on the A/C and attached my workout theraband to my door. I pressed play and began the warm up followed by several different exercises and stretches. At times there would be something that required bending over (which I can't do) so I would repeat other reps previously done instead. At one point I became dizzy and had to sit on the floor with my head between my knees. As I'm trying to catch my breath, I could hear workout diva saying "keep going, I'm right there with you, I know what your feeling!" I giggled in my head "no, I don't think she's feeling what I'm feeling right now, nor would she ever be humbled into the head between the knees position". I finished the program on my terms and felt good. It felt really good to have a fine film of perspiration on my body, and I felt really good the next day.
I'm praying I can keep this up. The doctor has always encouraged exercising, but my one bad experience kept me in fear of trying again. I'm so glad I gave it another try. I'm even thinking of taking a before and after picture just like they do in the advertisements.
Inspired,
Michele
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Ode to Compression Stockings
Oh how I love thee compression stockings.
I compare thy hug to a size 8 woman trying to squeeze into a size 2 jean.
Your tight embrace compels my feet to do an Irish jig,
and your firm squeeze sends a burst of energy that gets me through my day!
I will loveth thee all the days of my life!
I was told over a year ago to purchase compression stockings to help with my pooling and circulation issues. The first time the doctor mentioned it to me waves of horror sent shivers down my spine with the thought of wearing something so ugly and lacking of style. By the second visit and second recommendation to purchase the stockings I thought I should be a good patient and give them a try. I went on line to check them out and my jaw hit the floor at the price of one pair of stockings. I could buy a cute pair of fine Italian leather shoes for the price of one pair of UGLY stockings! I'm NOT going to spend that much money on a pair of socks! So being the cheapskate that I am I went to my local drugstore and bought a pair of cheap ones that cost less than $10.00, and headed for my favorite shoe salesman at Nordtroms for a nice pair of peep toed flats. I put on the cheap compression stockings and I couldn't tell the difference between them and my normal socks except for the fact that the compression stockings cut off my circulation below the knees.
One year later and I'm with a new neuro and he also recommends the compression stockings. I cheerfully tell him they don't work and we move on to other more important issues. Three months later and the dreaded subject of compression stockings is brought up again! I'm beginning to wonder if maybe there might actually be something to these compression stockings and sheepishly bring up the fact that the stockings I tried were very cheap. I told the doctor that compression stockings are very expensive and if he might write me a prescription for them, and he agrees! I'm still not completely sold on the stockings idea and hold on to the prescription. A week later my legs are in more pain than I've ever experienced. The pain and discomfort is so bad that I'm beginning to wonder if I can continue to work with this much pain. I finally decide the compression stockings may be my last option. My former husband may have been right about one thing, I am a stubborn German!
With prescription in hand I head to my local medical supply store and hand them my prescription. I'm told to have a seat and someone would be with me shortly for a fitting. A FITTING! I look at the guy and say "Excuse me, I'm just here for compression stockings, not crutches or anything like that!" He smiles and says I need to be fitted which is normal procedure for compression stockings." I sit down and wait, and within minutes a lady with a tape measure begins measuring various parts of my legs. She hands me one pair of thigh high stockings in my desired color, and she asks me if I know how to put on compression stockings? I give her a "are you kidding me look" and she takes that as a "no" and begins giving me a "lesson" on putting on compression stockings. In my head I'm thinking sock are socks, I should be able to handle it. But I have nothing better to do with my time so I actually take note of the key points to her lesson. I'm thinking one pair of stockings are not going to get me through a week of working. I mention my concern and she directs me to the calf high section and I chose a pair of navy socks to wear with my jeans. I'm thinking the insurance company will pay for the thigh high and I'll pay for the other pair. We head for the cash register and she announce the total, almost a hundred dollars! I mention the prescription and she explains that the insurance companies will not pay for compression stockings because they are considered cosmetic. I explain that I have orthostatic intolerance and that it's definitely not for cosmetic reasons. She says sorry but they have NEVER been covered by the insurance companies. I'm thinking "seriously, who would want to purchase a pair of these ugly things for appearances sake!". I end up charging them and head out the door.
The next morning I take my lovely knee highs out of the box. I attempt to put them on and soon find that the traditional way is not going to work. It's 6 am and my brain is still on defog mode. What did the lady say to do....tick.....tick.....tick, hmmm, something about turning them inside out, not sure why. I turn them inside out and can't get them over my toes and up my foot. I keep trying and end up falling over backwards. As I lay there I'm thankful I attempted this on the bed. But now I've got to get myself up which is never an easy task for me. I'm back in my sitting position and make another attempt to get these "special" socks on. After 5 minutes I get the first sock on, woohoo! Now I'm tired and I still have one more sock to put on. As I hold up my second sock my arms are shaking but the experience with the first sock makes it a bit easier to get the second one on. As I sat there on my bed recouping from putting on my stockings I'm thinking the time and energy spent putting on these stockings are probably not going to be worth any results I may get from these things and that I probably just waisted a chunk of money.
I'm in the parking lot at work and the walk to my classroom is probably the most difficult walk of the day, so off I head for my classroom. I notice the difference immediately. I feel like I have more of a spring to my step, hmmm this is good. I get through my first hour of teaching and I feel pretty good as far as my legs are concerned. By the end of the day I'm feeling not an ounce of pain or fatigue that usually plague me at that time and I'm ecstatic! I head for the parking lot and notice I still have a glint of the spring in my step from earlier in the morning and I'm smiling from ear to ear.
I get home and go on line and order four more pair of stockings and find out that there's quite a discount on line and in larger quantity purchases. I love these things so much that I begin to envision how I'm going to incorporate my stockings into my summer wardrobe. Maybe I could begin a fashion trend of wearing compression stockings with shorts and skirts! The next days unseasonably warm weather put a quick halt to wearing compression stockings in the heat. My feet felt like they were doing hard labor in a sweat shop in those things.
If you've been putting off purchasing compression stockings for vanity reasons or costs. I will tell you that they are worth more than all my designer shoes in my closet. I'm kind of like that guy in the DR Seuss book Green Eggs and Ham I will not eat green eggs and Ham, I will not try them Sam I am or in my case I will not try compression stockings, I will not wear them doc I am! After my first day,
I will wear them on a train and on a boat and in the rain!
I will wear them in a tree, they are so go, so good you see!
I will wear them here and there, I will wear them anywhere!
Inspired,
Michele
Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear and increase in learning. And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel.
I compare thy hug to a size 8 woman trying to squeeze into a size 2 jean.
Your tight embrace compels my feet to do an Irish jig,
and your firm squeeze sends a burst of energy that gets me through my day!
I will loveth thee all the days of my life!
I was told over a year ago to purchase compression stockings to help with my pooling and circulation issues. The first time the doctor mentioned it to me waves of horror sent shivers down my spine with the thought of wearing something so ugly and lacking of style. By the second visit and second recommendation to purchase the stockings I thought I should be a good patient and give them a try. I went on line to check them out and my jaw hit the floor at the price of one pair of stockings. I could buy a cute pair of fine Italian leather shoes for the price of one pair of UGLY stockings! I'm NOT going to spend that much money on a pair of socks! So being the cheapskate that I am I went to my local drugstore and bought a pair of cheap ones that cost less than $10.00, and headed for my favorite shoe salesman at Nordtroms for a nice pair of peep toed flats. I put on the cheap compression stockings and I couldn't tell the difference between them and my normal socks except for the fact that the compression stockings cut off my circulation below the knees.
One year later and I'm with a new neuro and he also recommends the compression stockings. I cheerfully tell him they don't work and we move on to other more important issues. Three months later and the dreaded subject of compression stockings is brought up again! I'm beginning to wonder if maybe there might actually be something to these compression stockings and sheepishly bring up the fact that the stockings I tried were very cheap. I told the doctor that compression stockings are very expensive and if he might write me a prescription for them, and he agrees! I'm still not completely sold on the stockings idea and hold on to the prescription. A week later my legs are in more pain than I've ever experienced. The pain and discomfort is so bad that I'm beginning to wonder if I can continue to work with this much pain. I finally decide the compression stockings may be my last option. My former husband may have been right about one thing, I am a stubborn German!
With prescription in hand I head to my local medical supply store and hand them my prescription. I'm told to have a seat and someone would be with me shortly for a fitting. A FITTING! I look at the guy and say "Excuse me, I'm just here for compression stockings, not crutches or anything like that!" He smiles and says I need to be fitted which is normal procedure for compression stockings." I sit down and wait, and within minutes a lady with a tape measure begins measuring various parts of my legs. She hands me one pair of thigh high stockings in my desired color, and she asks me if I know how to put on compression stockings? I give her a "are you kidding me look" and she takes that as a "no" and begins giving me a "lesson" on putting on compression stockings. In my head I'm thinking sock are socks, I should be able to handle it. But I have nothing better to do with my time so I actually take note of the key points to her lesson. I'm thinking one pair of stockings are not going to get me through a week of working. I mention my concern and she directs me to the calf high section and I chose a pair of navy socks to wear with my jeans. I'm thinking the insurance company will pay for the thigh high and I'll pay for the other pair. We head for the cash register and she announce the total, almost a hundred dollars! I mention the prescription and she explains that the insurance companies will not pay for compression stockings because they are considered cosmetic. I explain that I have orthostatic intolerance and that it's definitely not for cosmetic reasons. She says sorry but they have NEVER been covered by the insurance companies. I'm thinking "seriously, who would want to purchase a pair of these ugly things for appearances sake!". I end up charging them and head out the door.
The next morning I take my lovely knee highs out of the box. I attempt to put them on and soon find that the traditional way is not going to work. It's 6 am and my brain is still on defog mode. What did the lady say to do....tick.....tick.....tick, hmmm, something about turning them inside out, not sure why. I turn them inside out and can't get them over my toes and up my foot. I keep trying and end up falling over backwards. As I lay there I'm thankful I attempted this on the bed. But now I've got to get myself up which is never an easy task for me. I'm back in my sitting position and make another attempt to get these "special" socks on. After 5 minutes I get the first sock on, woohoo! Now I'm tired and I still have one more sock to put on. As I hold up my second sock my arms are shaking but the experience with the first sock makes it a bit easier to get the second one on. As I sat there on my bed recouping from putting on my stockings I'm thinking the time and energy spent putting on these stockings are probably not going to be worth any results I may get from these things and that I probably just waisted a chunk of money.
I'm in the parking lot at work and the walk to my classroom is probably the most difficult walk of the day, so off I head for my classroom. I notice the difference immediately. I feel like I have more of a spring to my step, hmmm this is good. I get through my first hour of teaching and I feel pretty good as far as my legs are concerned. By the end of the day I'm feeling not an ounce of pain or fatigue that usually plague me at that time and I'm ecstatic! I head for the parking lot and notice I still have a glint of the spring in my step from earlier in the morning and I'm smiling from ear to ear.
I get home and go on line and order four more pair of stockings and find out that there's quite a discount on line and in larger quantity purchases. I love these things so much that I begin to envision how I'm going to incorporate my stockings into my summer wardrobe. Maybe I could begin a fashion trend of wearing compression stockings with shorts and skirts! The next days unseasonably warm weather put a quick halt to wearing compression stockings in the heat. My feet felt like they were doing hard labor in a sweat shop in those things.
If you've been putting off purchasing compression stockings for vanity reasons or costs. I will tell you that they are worth more than all my designer shoes in my closet. I'm kind of like that guy in the DR Seuss book Green Eggs and Ham I will not eat green eggs and Ham, I will not try them Sam I am or in my case I will not try compression stockings, I will not wear them doc I am! After my first day,
I will wear them on a train and on a boat and in the rain!
I will wear them in a tree, they are so go, so good you see!
I will wear them here and there, I will wear them anywhere!
Inspired,
Michele
Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear and increase in learning. And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
My Favorite Discoveries
I thought I would designate a post to some of the things I've discovered that have helped me cope with having POTS. Some are personal life lessons, and some can be purchased at the store or on line.
My very favorite thing is my Mio heart rate monitor watch. For over a year I didn't quite know what my heart was doing, and unfortunately I confused bradycardia symptoms (low heart rate) with tachycardia symptoms (high heart rate). Knowing what my heart is doing, and how bad it really is has given me peace of mind.
My ice vest is one of the ugliest pieces of clothing I own, but also one of the most important. My body doesn't respond to temperature like the rest of the world. My body temperature rises and falls in extreme weather. I purchased the Artic Heat ice vest because it's light weight and doesn't soak my clothing. It was a bit expensive but definitely worth it.
For a year I carried packets of salt with me everywhere, ewww gross! I discovered from some helpful POTSies that salt tablets are way better. Please check with your doctor about dosage and whether this is a good option for you. And don't forget plenty of water to go with it.
I spent the first year of my POTS diagnosis in a continuous state of nausea. I thought it might be the medications I was on. I discovered by accident that if I ate small meals all day that the nausea only exists in the morning hours.
Finding the right medication combination can be a long and frustrating road. In the beginning of my medication trial it was very frightening. The first medication they tried made my heart raced so high, that after I vomited I was on watch for 24 hours. The medications I'm on now had such bad side effects that I became suicidal. The sad thing was, that the medication worked very well with my POTS symptoms, and they didn't have any alternative medications to give me. I was forced to live through the emotional battle or become bed ridden and an invalid for the rest of my life. It took a little over a year, but I'm now able to take my medications without the scary side effects. What a difficult choice that was! Be patient, and be in constant communication with your doctor.
Living with POTS is like living with the Blob, the symptoms change from day to day, and sometimes it's hard to tell the difference from a "normal" illnesses and POTS symptoms. Being connected with a website support group is very helpful. People who share this unique disease usually can answer questions you have. Often times reading posts from others will shed some light on symptoms that I have that I didn't know were POTS related. People who have lived with POTS often have a wealth of information that our doctors may not have tried. And always seek the advice of your doctor when you hear about something new.
Like I said in the previous paragraph, living with POTS is like living with the Blob. Many of us share similar symptoms but our bodies react to medications differently. Some people with POTS are very symptomatic and are still on the road of finding something that works for them, and others have found treatments that allow them to live close to normal lives. Remember everyone is different.
I often experience survivors guilt, feeling bad for those who have it so much worse than I do. But I have learned to appreciate what I can do, because there are so many who have it worse. Even if I was living with the worse case scenario of POTS, it still would be better than paralysis, being a burn victim or so many other debilitating diseases. POTS has taken so much away, but I do have a choice as to how I deal with that loss. I've learned to focus on what I can do, and not on what I can't.
POTS has friends, don't be surprised if you become scent sensitive or intolerant. I became very dizzy at a bon fire at church one day, who knew? Sound sensitivity was very surprising, my heart rate went through the roof listening to very loud praise music at church. Ehler Danlos Syndrome, Raynauds, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and Lupus usually go hand in hand with POTS. Just be prepared for anything.
I try to keep my friends and family in the loop of how things are going for me, but I'm also learning that it's a process for them too. They have lost the Michele they knew well, and they have been given a different Michele in it's place. Don't forget to give them some grace, and communicate what you need from them.
I have been a servant most of my life, serving and helping are things I enjoy. POTS has made that difficult. I've learned to accept help and ask for help, neither of these come natural. I've learned to accept that the warm fuzzy feeling I would get from helping others is now happening to those who help and serve me. God is at work in those around me, and I need to sit back and get out of the way.
When writing my blog, I try really hard not to pound people over the head with my faith, I'm more of a love people to Jesus, than a hit people over the head with a bible type. Being a Christian is at the core of who I am, and not sharing how God has made a difference in dealing with POTS would be denying who I am. So hear it goes, I trust that I have POTS for a reason, I believe that God uses my circumstances for His purposes. I have seen God work miracles through my POTS diagnosis, and I've seen God change my heart through the difficult circumstances. I'm not saying this is easy, there are days when I'm frustrated or angry with things that happen to me with POTS, but God gave me feelings for a reason and I'm learning it's OK to ask "Why this God?", and I'm learning to wait patiently for answers. Because He always answers, maybe not in my timing, but in His.
Truly inspired,
Michele
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
My life verse.
My very favorite thing is my Mio heart rate monitor watch. For over a year I didn't quite know what my heart was doing, and unfortunately I confused bradycardia symptoms (low heart rate) with tachycardia symptoms (high heart rate). Knowing what my heart is doing, and how bad it really is has given me peace of mind.
My ice vest is one of the ugliest pieces of clothing I own, but also one of the most important. My body doesn't respond to temperature like the rest of the world. My body temperature rises and falls in extreme weather. I purchased the Artic Heat ice vest because it's light weight and doesn't soak my clothing. It was a bit expensive but definitely worth it.
For a year I carried packets of salt with me everywhere, ewww gross! I discovered from some helpful POTSies that salt tablets are way better. Please check with your doctor about dosage and whether this is a good option for you. And don't forget plenty of water to go with it.
I spent the first year of my POTS diagnosis in a continuous state of nausea. I thought it might be the medications I was on. I discovered by accident that if I ate small meals all day that the nausea only exists in the morning hours.
Finding the right medication combination can be a long and frustrating road. In the beginning of my medication trial it was very frightening. The first medication they tried made my heart raced so high, that after I vomited I was on watch for 24 hours. The medications I'm on now had such bad side effects that I became suicidal. The sad thing was, that the medication worked very well with my POTS symptoms, and they didn't have any alternative medications to give me. I was forced to live through the emotional battle or become bed ridden and an invalid for the rest of my life. It took a little over a year, but I'm now able to take my medications without the scary side effects. What a difficult choice that was! Be patient, and be in constant communication with your doctor.
Living with POTS is like living with the Blob, the symptoms change from day to day, and sometimes it's hard to tell the difference from a "normal" illnesses and POTS symptoms. Being connected with a website support group is very helpful. People who share this unique disease usually can answer questions you have. Often times reading posts from others will shed some light on symptoms that I have that I didn't know were POTS related. People who have lived with POTS often have a wealth of information that our doctors may not have tried. And always seek the advice of your doctor when you hear about something new.
Like I said in the previous paragraph, living with POTS is like living with the Blob. Many of us share similar symptoms but our bodies react to medications differently. Some people with POTS are very symptomatic and are still on the road of finding something that works for them, and others have found treatments that allow them to live close to normal lives. Remember everyone is different.
I often experience survivors guilt, feeling bad for those who have it so much worse than I do. But I have learned to appreciate what I can do, because there are so many who have it worse. Even if I was living with the worse case scenario of POTS, it still would be better than paralysis, being a burn victim or so many other debilitating diseases. POTS has taken so much away, but I do have a choice as to how I deal with that loss. I've learned to focus on what I can do, and not on what I can't.
POTS has friends, don't be surprised if you become scent sensitive or intolerant. I became very dizzy at a bon fire at church one day, who knew? Sound sensitivity was very surprising, my heart rate went through the roof listening to very loud praise music at church. Ehler Danlos Syndrome, Raynauds, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and Lupus usually go hand in hand with POTS. Just be prepared for anything.
I try to keep my friends and family in the loop of how things are going for me, but I'm also learning that it's a process for them too. They have lost the Michele they knew well, and they have been given a different Michele in it's place. Don't forget to give them some grace, and communicate what you need from them.
I have been a servant most of my life, serving and helping are things I enjoy. POTS has made that difficult. I've learned to accept help and ask for help, neither of these come natural. I've learned to accept that the warm fuzzy feeling I would get from helping others is now happening to those who help and serve me. God is at work in those around me, and I need to sit back and get out of the way.
When writing my blog, I try really hard not to pound people over the head with my faith, I'm more of a love people to Jesus, than a hit people over the head with a bible type. Being a Christian is at the core of who I am, and not sharing how God has made a difference in dealing with POTS would be denying who I am. So hear it goes, I trust that I have POTS for a reason, I believe that God uses my circumstances for His purposes. I have seen God work miracles through my POTS diagnosis, and I've seen God change my heart through the difficult circumstances. I'm not saying this is easy, there are days when I'm frustrated or angry with things that happen to me with POTS, but God gave me feelings for a reason and I'm learning it's OK to ask "Why this God?", and I'm learning to wait patiently for answers. Because He always answers, maybe not in my timing, but in His.
Truly inspired,
Michele
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
My life verse.
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