Saturday, March 24, 2012

In a funk

Been in a funk for the last two days and couldn't figure out what's causing it. I finally put my finger on the cause and realised that my funk is caused by the loss of a fellow POTSy friend. The reason I had such a hard time figuring it out was that we were not super close. We made occasional comments on each others facebook status's, we're both believers and both of us had many things in common. She was very close to many others in the POTSy community who had every right to mourn the loss of a very close friend, I have no right to share their deep loss. But still why the sadness, why the funk?

Then it hit me.... we shared a battle with POTS with a similar battle plan.
She was someone who tried to put a positive spin on POTS. She found humor in the struggles of having POTS when it shouldn't be funny at all. She always had something positive to say if someone was down. She found beauty when others couldn't. This amazing woman was sharing a part of herself on facebook one day and was gone the next. Her battle with POTS is over. The reality of how POTS can take someone so quickly was a shock to me. The grim reality that if this could happen to her then it could happen to me.

I know that I could die in a car crash tomorrow and worrying about my future with POTS is futile, but I need to remember that things happen in my life are there to mold me into the person I need to become. It's a reminder that life can be short and each minute is meant to be a gift not to be taken for granted. There will always be a special place in my heart for Kathleen, she's a shining light of the woman I'm inspired to become.


Matthew 6:25-34
25 For this reason I say to you, do not be anxious for your life, as to what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body, as to what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body than clothing?
26 Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?
27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life's span?
28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Observe how the lillies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin.
29 Yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory did not clothe himself like one of these.
30 But if God so arrays the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more do so for you, O men of little faith?
31 Do not be anxious then, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'With what shall we clothe ourselves?'
32 For all these things the Gentiles eagerly seek: for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
33 But seek ye first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you.
34 Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble.


  1. Michele,
    I'm so sorry. This is so sad. Did she actually die from POTS??? That's so scary. What a beautiful tribute you have shared here.

  2. I had something very similar happen to me just a few days ago. I have pots caused by mitochondrial disease. I have a large number of facebook friends with mito or have a child with mito who serve as a support system for me. The other day I was looking through my facebook feed and came across a picture of a beautiful birthday cake for a fellow mito sufferer's 10th birthday. I had commented on how beautiful the cake was and wished her a happy birthday (which had been 2 days prior). Just a few short hours later, while checking my FB feed again, I discovered another post by her mother stating that she had passed away.

    I was saddened by this news for a short while and then, out of no where, just broke down and cried. I just couldn't figure out why I was crying so hard over someone I had never met; someone not close to me at all. I still don't know exactly why it hit me so hard. Maybe it was the happiness of one post from her mom immediately followed by the news of her passing. It just seemed so sudden even though I know she's been suffering her entire life.

    So, Michelle, I understand how it is to be bothered so much by the passing of someone you wouldn't think would affect you that way.