Saturday, November 28, 2009

Energizer Bunny where are you?

I've always considered myself the energizer bunny type, I keep going, and going, and going. As a child I was the student standing at my desk to do my work, I was constantly being reminded to sit down, but my bottom would quickly forget and pop right out of my seat within minutes. As an adult I would be on the move from early morning until evening. Don't get me wrong, I would enjoy a television program in the late evening to help wind me down, but sitting has always been difficult. When I was forced to sit, my foot or leg would still be on the move.

I remember when I was put in the hospital when I was first diagnosed. My biggest complaint was being stuck in bed. Times a wasting, there's things to get done! When the doctors told me I had POTS, which I had never heard of and surely couldn't pronounce, I was told things would be a bit different. Dependency on medication, and a lifestyle change were in my future. I was told that this disease could go ito remission as quick as it came. I'd have to slow down. In my head I thought OK, I can slow down, I can take my medications, I can do this. I had just finished a Bible study about resting in God. I thought this disease was a good way for me to learn a little something about resting and resting in God, and once I learned my lesson, life would go back to normal. Still wearing my rose colored glasses, and need a reality check.

I left the hospital with the thought that I'd have to slow down a little, and that this would probably go away soon. I had learned very quickly that my idea of slowing down was not the same as my bodies idea of slowing down. I was faced with a flood after I came home from the hospital and reality was about to set in. My refridgerator water filter pipe blew and created a small flood two nights after I came home. The family woke to the sound of water shooting across the kitchen and two inches of water on the floor of the kitchen, dining room and in part of the living room. My children and I began using towels to mop up the water, and as I lifted each water soaked towel it felt like I was carrying two hundred pounds across a football field. My children had school and work the next day, so I sent them to bed and I truly thought I could tackle the flooded house. I didn't last very long, out of breath, heart beating through my chest and the room around me spinning uncontrolably, I thought for sure my children would wake up without a mom. That night my body let me know who was boss, and it wasn't me.

I have been on the move for forty eight years and I still think I'm the energizer bunny, but unfortunately the energizer bunny has hit the wall. Picture your favorite toy as a child remember what it was like as it ran out of energy and would move ever so slowly until it no longer moved at all. Imagine you head for the kitchen cupboard for some new batteries, only to find there are none. Imagine the disappointment you feel because you are now unable to play with your toy until one of your parents goes to the store to buy more batteries. That's me! I start out feeling normal, and within minutes I'm laying on the couch out of breath. Wishing I had more energy, and I'm going to have to wait until my body re-energizes itself, which may take hours or the next day. The disappointment I have that I can't finish the task I started.

This morning I woke up with a hankering to tidy up the garage. So, I took on the task in my typical energizer bunny style, but within minutes my body took over as usual, if it could speak it would probably say "ha ha, you are a couch potato, a COUCH POTATO!" I didn't totally listen to my body and I put a decent dent in the project, but what would have taken a morning to do the whole job, took a morning to do a tenth with a dozen couch and water breaks and the help of my daughter.

I may only have a tenth of the energy I had before POTS, but I still have some enrgy to do the things I want to. I'm still getting use to having the mind set of someone in their thirties, with the stamina of an eight year old and a body that doesn't look eighty, a bit think!

I guess it's time to quit while I'm ahead, my left hand looks like it has been soaking in purple die, and I keep missing the keys on my last three fingers, until the next post, consider all you can do a blessing, because you never know when you're body might consider your brain a joke.

Still inspired,

1 comment:

  1. I feel like I could have written this post... I am 23, and have the energy of an 80 year old and handicap tags, because when I go to school or to the grocery store, I don't have the energy to both walk across the parking lot and do whatever I have to do inside. I guess that I have prayed way too much for patience in times past, because now my body is forcing me to be so. :D Raising a glass of Gatorade to you right now!