Saturday, February 27, 2010

Pray Without Ceasing

Being a Christian with dysautonomia gives me the opportunity to look at my disease as a way to see how God wants me to learn from the experiences of this disease. To be honest, there are times when the symptoms of this disease make that a bit difficult (I'm sure you've seen some of the frustration in these blogs). I do have to say, that I NEVER experience brainfog while praying. Those names and details are always quite clear. I sometimes wonder if I was always in prayer, that maybe I'll never experience brainfog again! I can just imagine how that might sound as I'm teaching, "Oh Lord help my students grasp the concept of addition, help them to remember that if they add two items and three items they might want to use their fingers or objects to make that concept clearer." I think I'll have to give that idea a little more thought, and conversations with people might need a little more creative thinking as well.

Prayer has always played an important role for me as a Christian. It's pretty easy for me to pray for my close friends, people on the prayer chain at my church, and the woman I have become friends with through dysautonomia and facebook. My chair in front of my computer has become a regular place of prayer for me as I daily hear of the pain and struggles of these brave woman and men with this disease. It's easy for me to relate to their pain and frustration and to beseach God because I so easily relate to their pain and frustrations.

The area of prayer I struggle with the most is prayer for my health and healing. Surely others deserve a miracle more than I do. A friend with cancer needs to survive so that she can spend the rest of her life with the family that needs her. Those struggling with worse symptoms of dysautonomia deserve to be healed quickly because they have experienced pain that I haven't. Sometimes I think it's a lack of faith, other times it's a feeling that I don't deserve to be healed. It's at those times that I need to remember the length God went to when He gave me everlasting life. I have seen God answer so many prayers in my life. I have seen food provided during times of financial hardship, I've seen relationships restored when there was no hope, I've been given peace at times of great stress, and I've watched the impossible made possible, but this is one area of prayer I struggle with most.

Don't get me wrong, I do pray for myself. I just don't pray for healing with the same passion and conviction as I do for others. This morning I asked myself how long do I pray for healing? And the answer was loud and clear (God does tend to shout at me at times). Pray without ceasing! Don't stop! Pray with conviction! Pray because God doesn't want you to suffer! Pray because you deserve to be healed! I just need to remember God's timing isn't my timing. Sarah had to wait for years to give birth to a child she desired with all her heart. Two years is nothing. compared to her wait. Waiting isn't an easy task, as an American, I can be pretty impatient. But sometimes I just need to be patient and obedient. Remember to pray without ceasing!

Always inspired,

1 comment:

  1. Really interesting post Michelle. I'm not overly religious myself but I think the themes you talk about are universal. Are we worthy of self love or prayer? Are we too impatient and unwilling to wait for change? Where do we seek our strength? Spirituality comes in so many forms yet we all face the same obstacles. It seems we all walk the same path and I for one am glad to have you by my side on the journey.