Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Ode to Compression Stockings II Energy zappers

I had another bazaar compression stocking morning. Getting those things on cracks me up and then my laughing just zaps more energy. I've been wearing the knee high stockings daily and have gotten the hang of putting those things on with very little effort. Yesterday morning I decided to wear a dress, so waist high stockings were a must.

So I've done all needed preparation for getting on these insanely difficult stockings. They're inside out as my sales lady instructed. I'm in the center of my bed to buffer any falling over. I've had my breakfast and my coffee to provide much needed energy. I've laid them out flat and straight, stocking toes facing my toes so that they don't get twisted up while putting them on. And finally I've done very little energy zapping activities in the last thirty minutes to ensure that I'm completely energized for this what looks like simple task.

So I've squeezed my rather slender legs in what feels like the casing of an Oscar Mayer Wiener. While doing so I've experienced the typical fall overs during the struggle. I'm also giggling to the point of tears and I'm exhausted. I definitely used up all my spoons on this simple act. I think next time I plan on putting these stockings on I'll make sure that I'm supplied with some extra energy. Maybe I can use my phone charger and suck on the end of the power cord or maybe an IV infused with a Monster drink would do the trick. There's got to be a better way of doing this. And before you inform me of the wonderful handy dandy gadgets out there for putting on my energy zapping hose, I know, I know they're out there. I'm just technically challenged. I still don't know how to use my tv remote or the space saving storage bags that attach to my vacuum cleaner. So I'm not adding one more divice that will get stuffed in my cupboard collecting dust.

Who would have ever thought putting on hose could make me laugh so hard (though it could be hysteria). Thanks POTS for another laugh!

Inspired to laugh,

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
1 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven.-
2 A time to give birth, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance.

I like to try to keep my time equally balanced.
Though I do hope the whole killing thing is about killing bugs and animals for food. Because if not, I have not found a time for that yet!


  1. Well written again Michele. I can see you now giggling and wiggling on the bed. It's a fun game the old compression hose vs weak unco woman. Many times the compression hose have won and I just fling them across the room. No devices for me either, though, I do find a little talc on my legs helps them go up a bit easier. :)

  2. Lol I just think of putting those things on and it makes me giggle! As tiring as it makes you, I'm glad you see the funny side of those wretched things! lol

  3. It's always been tough for me to find correct fitting compression stockings. I've found the best solution is to just try them on in the stores, then buy them online.